Insanity
by calladragon
Summary: A 30,000 word Pre-Season Six Finale (Bluebird) piece I wrote for myself when having Pike around was annoying the heck out of me and my internet was down. I never intended to post this one; but, I changed my mind.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I wrote this 30,000 word, AU chapter story over a couple of days while my internet was down about a month ago when my Muse was in hiding on my old stories and that whole Pike situation was driving me crazy. I wanted Marcus gone and he was determined to stay! Since I normally take all of you (my readers) into consideration when I write fanfic, this story was never meant for public consumption. However, a story is a story so here it is. Please keep in mind I was writing this insanity for myself never intending anyone else to read it so it was written however I felt like writing at the time.

It definitely didn't follow the show nor did I intend it to. ~Calla

#

Cursing a blue streak, Lisbon set the black permanent marker aside and headed for the stairs knowing she didn't need this latest interruption. Not when time was running out and she was nearly done with her packing. However, she knew she'd best answer the door. Following her first inclination of ignoring the pealing bell probably wasn't her best move. It wasn't like it would make any difference if she did. She doubted whoever was out there would just up and go away without seeing her grumpy face. No flipping way. Her co-workers were much too persistent for that.

It was the nature of the beast…They _were_ FBI Agents.

Besides, it was probably a team member dropping by to offer a last minute hand. One she didn't really need since she'd sealed and labeled the final box about the time that first ding of the doorbell sounded. Maybe it was Fischer or Cho. If she was lucky, she'd get Cho. She wouldn't mind visiting with him one last time. She'd always valued the respectful camaraderie that blossomed between them from the moment they met. From his recent remarks concerning his early days at the CBI and why he'd really stayed, it seemed Kimball felt the same.

Bouncing down the stairs, Lisbon decided one last spin down Memory Lane might be nice. They could share a few laughs and a coffee or two. It would give her a good excuse to break out that new blend Marcus had given her as a parting gift the morning he'd left for D.C. permanently. Cho would appreciate the gesture and she'd enjoy making it.

Pressing her palms against the door, Lisbon gazed through the peep hole and saw she wasn't entirely wrong in her guess. It _was_ a member of the team standing out there. Just not one coming to help in any appreciable way.

She was sure of that.

Seriously hesitating before she threw open the door, Lisbon half blocked the entrance with her body. While she was slightly addled to find Jane standing on her stoop, she was more disturbed by his bedraggled appearance. He hadn't looked this off in a long time. Not since the Red John years. As MacAllister was long gone, there really wasn't any reason the man should look like death warmed over now.

Nothing she knew about anyway.

Shaking her head slightly clearing away images she didn't want to have, Lisbon contemplated her next move. Her gut instinct was to slam the door in his face. However, she wouldn't be much of a partner or a friend if she did. Her second inclination was to keep things light and avoid whatever issue he'd come to talk about at any cost. It shouldn't be that difficult. They'd both gotten adept at skirting things they didn't want to tackle over the years. She was one of the best. Then again, she needed to take into account Jane had that determined gleam in his eyes usually meaning the thinking would be a lot easier than getting it done. He'd clearly appeared on her doorstep with a mission in mind. One she wasn't sure she wanted to tackle.

Not given his rough appearance.

She was much too familiar with tortured Jane and, from the looks of him; he'd been tormenting himself for a while. Whatever, he could do as he darned well pleased. He wasn't her problem anymore. He belonged to someone else by default. Or he would as soon as she left town. She didn't rightly know who that person was and she didn't really care. He just wasn't hers anymore. But, that didn't mean she was going to cruelly send her old friend away. Not yet anyway. While she didn't have time to deal with a full blown Jane crisis, she could spare a few minutes to slap an emotional bandage over his wounds before sending him on his way.

She owed him that much for old time's sake.

Ignoring the voice in the back of head screaming that was the last thing she should do, Lisbon stepped back from the door and motioned Jane inside. Locking the door behind them, she walked into the kitchen to pour two healthy glasses of wine from the already open bottle she'd left on her counter earlier. Handing him one, she led the way into her den. Settling on the couch she patted the cushion beside her.

"I'd say, from the looks of things, you need something stronger than wine." Lisbon watched him fold his body into her personal space before taking a sip of wine and setting her glass aside. "Unfortunately, that's all there is."

The last of that standard case of her favorite California Red Jane had gifted her for her last birthday.

"This is fine." Jane said quietly before taking a sip. "So, are you almost done?"

"I am done…I finished early." Lisbon said quietly knowing he was referring to her packing. "Everything ships out day after tomorrow and I leave a few hours later."

Jane wasn't particularly surprised by her words. The woman sitting by him wouldn't leave something as important as carefully tucking her precious belongings away until the last minute. She'd started boxing things early and she'd finished early. It was her typical MO.

"So, this is it." Jane continued quietly.

"I guess so." Lisbon agreed. "My new life starts in a couple of days."

Setting his glass aside, Jane reached out to take both of her hands in his. "I don't want you to go and not because D.C.'s boring."

Stopping mid snort, the words she'd been thinking died in her throat as she caught sight of the hand resting so casually against hers.

"How long?" Lisbon held her breath not sure she wanted his answer.

"Three days." Jane watched her expel the breath she'd been holding knowing she'd realized the relevance of his remark since her last day at Headquarters had been exactly three days ago. "I needed some time to think things through and you needed to know this isn't spur-of-the moment."

"No wonder you look like hell." Lisbon commented knowing while she'd spent the past three days carefully packing and sipping an occasional glass of wine, he'd spent them in an entirely different way. "You haven't had that ring off your finger in twenty years."

Three days of battling the emotions coming with that action was more than she wanted to consider.

"A few years longer; but, who's really counting." Jane agreed. "It's time."

"Why?" Lisbon asked quietly dreading his answer.

"Because we both know there's unfinished business between us that we need to sort out before either of us can move on." Jane stated firmly. "Not right now of course. You aren't ready. Neither am I. But, we'll need to down the road and I'll be here when you're ready."

"I won't." Lisbon reminded him none too gently. "I'll be in D.C."

"Will you?" Jane asked quietly. "Are you sure about that?"

"I am." Lisbon stated with quiet determination. "I'm leaving the day after tomorrow."

"Are you?" Jane asked again. "I don't think so." He called her bluff. "Not with this hanging between us."

It wouldn't be fair to the man she claimed to love if she did.

"Damn it, Jane." Lisbon drained her wine glass in open frustration and considered pouring another. "You have no right to do this. Not now."

Not when she'd waited _months_ for him to do something. Like what he did best. Gum up the works _somehow_. But, he hadn't really done much of anything except show up at a few inopportune moments and say all that really mattered was her happiness. Well, she _was_ happy, and it had nothing to do with him! Jane had had his chance and he'd blown it.

More than once!

How dare he show up at the Eleventh Hour and try to throw a monkey wrench into the rest of her life!

"No, I don't." Jane agreed. "But, that's never stopped me before."

He had a point there.

"Well, it's stopping you this time." Lisbon pressed forward without batting an eye. "My transfer has gone through. They're expecting me in D.C. I have to be there. Marcus went out on a limb to make things happen. I can't let him down."

"I think you can." Jane continued as though she hadn't spoken. "Besides, I'm guessing that paperwork you're referencing is still on Abbott's desk." He knew it was even if he wasn't explaining how. "I'm not the only one who doesn't want you to go."

There was still plenty of time to dot those final "I's" and cross those "T's" since she wasn't starting her new position immediately. Abbott was counting on that. Lisbon had requested a couple of weeks to settle in and get her bearings before officially entering the field. The D.C. office had granted her wish.

It was a move in his favor.

"I'll lose my deposit with the moving company and the apartment complex." Lisbon said. "I can't afford to do that."

"Consider them paid." Jane said quietly. "You know that's a feeble excuse at best."

"What do you want me to say?" She asked. "Just spit it out."

"That you'll stay." Jane said quietly. "That you'll take the chance we've never taken. See what happens. We've been together too long not to see if we can make things work."

While he wanted to say more, Jane wisely shut his mouth.

Closing her eyes, Lisbon pondered his words knowing Jane was right in her heart but still rebelling in her head. Why couldn't he have done this sooner? Stopped with all the, "I just want you to be happy." b.s. and said, "I want you to be happy with_ me_." instead. It wasn't that hard to come clean. To stop the mind games and say how he truly felt. It really wasn't. He should have done that in the early days before she'd gotten so deeply involved with Marcus.

Doing it now was selfish and cruel.

Catching the mutinous look on Lisbon's face saying she might very well stick to her guns on principle, Jane vocalized the one thing he hoped would tip the scale in his favor.

"You'll always wonder what would have happened if you go." He prophesied firmly. "It'll destroy your relationship with Pike in the end."

Mulling his words, Lisbon turned bruised eyes to Jane knowing he was right. She could already feel the corruption starting to fester deep inside. He'd managed to taint her feelings for Marcus without even trying. Made her start to ponder all the 'what ifs' she'd successfully held at bay. She couldn't do anything else. She had feelings for both men.

She was sure of it.

"I'm still going to D.C.; but, I may be back." Lisbon capitulated. "I owe Marcus that much."

"Yes, I suppose you do." Jan agreed not liking anything about that idea since it meant she might still slip through his fingers. "It's the right thing to do."

"Yes, it is." Lisbon stated firmly. "I'm not promising anything. I might stay once I get there. If I do, I expect you to let all of this go. I need your word you'll do that. You'll accept I've finally made my choice and it isn't you."

If Marcus's arguments were half as good as Jane's, she _might_ stay. If she did, she wasn't looking back. She wasn't having any regrets. She was giving her new life all of her and everything she had. Marcus deserved nothing less. He was a much safer bet than Jane would ever be and he adored her. Honestly, she was a fool for even entertaining thoughts of doing anything else. However, she had to.

When Jane was right, he was right.

"I'm not asking you to promise anything." Jane said. "If you decide to stay, I'll let you go."

He wouldn't like it; but, he wouldn't interfere with her new life if that was what she truly wanted.

He was counting on the fact it wasn't.

"Thank you." Lisbon finally agreed.

"You're welcome." Leaning in drop a kiss on her cheek, Jane rose to his feet. "Now that I've said my piece, I don't think you need me underfoot any longer."

"Probably not." Lisbon agreed escorting him towards the door. "I've got some thinking to do."

She had to figure out the best way to break all of this to Marcus for one thing.

"Don't think too much about it." Jane said quietly. "Just be honest with Pike. I don't think he'll be as surprised as you might think."

"You may be right." Lisbon agreed. "But, even if he's not, he still doesn't deserve any of this."

"Perhaps not; but, it's a chance he took. It's a chance we all take when we embark on a relationship." Jane gently reminded her as he stepped into the darkness. "It's never been a secret there was an indefinable something between us. I don't know a lot of men who would take the chance Pike did knowing that." It was the something that had kept most would be suitors away for years. Unfortunately, Marcus had proven more determined than most. He hadn't let an ambiguity like "indefinable somethings" dissuade him from his course. "He clearly thought you were worth the risk and I have to agree."

"Yeah, I guess he did." Lisbon watched Jane turn to give her one last look. "I'll give you a call when I'm back in town."

Or she'd give him a call from D.C. as she clearly didn't want him showing up unannounced or calling her in the interim.

"I'll wait to hear from you." He'd waited a long time to get to this point; he could wait a few more days. "I can give you that much."

"Thank you." Lisbon said before closing the door without waiting for Jane's response or watching him walk away.

She didn't need to see his shoulders hunching in semi-defeat.

She had enough to think about without adding that heart rending image to her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: SECOND WARNING: This story is more narrative and far less dialogue driven than anything I've written previously. I was writing for myself and didn't care. There is also more back story that is told rather than shown. I've probably broken every rule of good story telling and I know that as well. Truthfully, this story may not appeal to a lot of you.

I know that.

That's the part making this a really difficult story to share. It wasn't written with my readers in mind and that shows. It certainly wasn't written to garner reviews. It was written because it was in my head and wanted to come out.

It's simply a straight forward, free flow story I typed out over a couple of days to combat my aggravation with the Pike Arc and how passively Jane was taking losing the woman he loved! It's nothing more and nothing less. It was never meant to be.~ Calls

#

Jane watched Lisbon moving around her desk doodling with the last of the paperwork. He couldn't believe his good fortune and still pinched himself every now and then. As far as he was concerned it had been hit or miss when she'd gone to Washington. He hadn't been entirely sure she'd return to Austin. That she wouldn't decide to stay with Marcus after all. That he couldn't persuade her to change her mind yet again. She'd had deep feelings for the man. Those emotions had been a very real threat.

One keeping him perched on the edge of his seat for a couple of days.

When Lisbon had suddenly turned up on his RV steps in the early afternoon of that third day, he'd thrown open the door and pulled her inside. Pressing her favorite soft drink in her hand, he hadn't pushed for the lurid details of her break up with Pike. He'd already known the gist anyway. Marcus had to know that he, Patrick Jane, was behind Lisbon's sudden change of heart. He'd be a fool not to and his congenial nemesis was anything but a fool. He'd also realized Lisbon was overcome with guilt over breaking her lover's heart. He wouldn't add to her suffering by prying where he shouldn't.

It wasn't necessary.

He'd won the battle; but, he wasn't foolish enough to believe he'd won the war. He'd known there were still a few skirmishes left to fight. One's he'd eventually won with time and patience.

As he'd expected, it had taken Lisbon a couple of months to warm up to him in _that_ way. To give him the look that lead to that first tentative, stolen kiss. It had then taken him another couple of weeks to overcome his unworthiness. To stop dwelling on the fact he'd gotten his first family killed. That he could do the same to Lisbon. She'd finally broken through his self doubt one night when she'd asked him to take her out to dinner. He'd realized it was code speak for asking him to give them the chance he'd requested.

The chance for which she'd discarded her very solid future.

Ignoring his own misgivings, he'd called in a favor and taken her to an exclusive restaurant off the beaten path that night. He'd even picked her up at her place to find himself mildly shocked when she appeared looking sweet and pretty in a flattering floral dress. He'd never seen her looking quite so refreshed and refreshing. Not at the end of a trying day. Marcus had been good for her in very visible ways. Somehow, he'd helped her connect with her inner woman. Once she had, Lisbon had clearly decided being feminine wasn't so bad. Jane was glad.

She was every bit as lovely as he'd known she could be.

They'd shared a very pleasant, relaxing evening enjoying a fine meal as they laughingly tried to discern if they recognized any of the voices resonating from behind elaborately decorated Oriental screens cloistering individual tables from prying eyes. He'd explained on the way out to the sprawling, nondescript one story building that in a more genteel, by-gone era, the place had once been a discrete get away for the rich and powerful. It was a safe haven to bring their mistresses for a quiet evening of fine dining and finer booze without fear of getting caught by their spouses. Or any other interested parties they didn't want in the know when it came to questionable extracurricular activities.

Now, the place was more of a curiosity than a den of iniquity although he was sure there was still some of that going on. Not that either of them really cared. The restaurant had been more of interesting place to visit, partake of good food, and enjoy exceptional service than anything else. If that wasn't enough of a draw, the wine list was far more extensive than anything Lisbon had ever seen. Her eyes had gotten as big as saucers before she'd handed Jane the ringed binder and told him she'd settle for whatever he picked. Turning to a page and immediately finding the selection he had in mind, Jane had quickly set the list aside his mind made up. The rest of the evening had passed much too fast.

They'd been to quite a few nice places since although none of them were nearly as unique or fancy. Lisbon was more of a homebody as he already knew. Not that they didn't do outside things. They did…Everything from Farmer's Markets to zoos, museums, and everything in between…It was more a question of what they hadn't done over the past couple of months.

The only truly ridiculous part about the whole situation was everyone knew he'd had something to do with Lisbon's change of heart; but, they had no clue exactly what. They certainly weren't privy to how intimately involved they really were. Not even Cho. While they probably _suspected_; they didn't _know_. At the moment, Lisbon preferred keeping their private life private. In her mind their entanglement appeared less sordid that way. Less disrespectful to the genuinely good man she'd never meant to harm. The one she'd fancied herself in love with.

Though he had no such compulsions believing they'd merely followed their hearts as they should have from the beginning, Jane respected her feelings. If he was painfully honest with himself, Marcus didn't deserve what they'd done to him. He truly didn't. However, all was fair in love and war and he'd finally won the skirmish.

Besides, no matter what they did, people were going to jump to the obvious conclusion when they got busted as they inevitably would.

A conclusion that wasn't entirely accurate. Lisbon hadn't dumped Pike for him. She'd realized in the nick of time that Marcus wasn't the right man for her. As great as everything was between them, he wasn't her forever lover. He couldn't be.

He'd entered her life much too late to claim the heart already belonging to another.

Closing his eyes, Jane freely admitted he was a lucky man.

If he'd only realized how much a couple of missteps were going to cost him as well, he would never have made them.


	3. Chapter 3

Unlocking his door, Jane helped Lisbon navigate the steps knowing she was physically exhausted and not entirely steady on her feet. They'd had a really tough, emotionally trying day…The kind ending in shots being fired and people injured or dying…Those were never pleasant for anyone…Least of all the person doing the shooting…Add a couple of stiff drinks to the mix and you were asking for trouble…Not necessarily under normal circumstances…But, these were anything but normal.

Locking the door behind him, Jane wasn't entirely unprepared for Lisbon's attack. He'd thought he detected a certain look in her eyes. His only true question was how he was going to handle the situation unfolding between them. He could either turn her down or accept her offer. He hadn't quite made up his mind which he was going to do. While common sense dictated that he side step the issue and toss a few things in his overnight bag in preparation for sleeping on her couch as they'd intended, he'd never been that big on acting prudently.

Added to that, what red blooded man in his right mind would turn down a hot blooded woman on the prowl in favor of spending the night alone on said woman's couch when he could have her writhing in his bed? Especially not the one he'd been heavily involved with until three lonely months ago when she'd kicked him out on his rear due to his own stupidity? The one he was still head over heels in love with if he was honest.

When he put it like that, the answer was pretty clear.

Then again, he needed to make sure a certain dark haired FBI Agent wasn't going to hate him or hurt him when that light switch flipped in her brain sometime between the dusk and dawn.

Jane's eyebrow rose as Lisbon shoved his jacket off his shoulders. "Teresa?"

Lisbon's eyebrow rose cockily in response. "Patrick?"

Two could play the oblivious game. "What are you doing?"

The fingers efficiently unbuttoning his shirt made words unnecessary. "Do you really need me to explain?"

"Do you think this is wise?" Jane asked. "You'll regret it in the morning."

"Maybe." Lisbon agreed. "Don't let it bother you…I'm a big girl if I do." She continued brushing his shirt from his shoulders as she dragged her palms down his abdomen. "Besides, I think I can handle it."

Closing his eyes, Jane silently agreed those hands were definitely doing big girl things. "If you're sure?"

Lisbon fixed him with wide green eyes and _his_ patented "what the hell" smirk she'd perfected over the last few months. While she might regret reopening a long closed can of worms in the morning, right now she couldn't care less. She'd had an atrocious day, they all had, and she was craving some serious tension relief. It didn't help she'd been cooped up most of the day inhaling the scent of Jane and revisiting memories she had no business remembering. She'd known she was in trouble hours ago; but, she'd figured they'd make it back to her place before she did anything manic.

Unfortunately, Jane looked at her with such longing as they'd walked through the door he'd left her ravenous and him her willing prey.

"I'm not sure of anything except we aren't going back." Lisbon said letting him know they weren't picking up their relationship where they'd ended it. He'd screwed up way to badly for that. What they were in the midst of was a momentary lapse of reason. "And I want this."

"One of those random friends-with-benefits moments?" Jane wasn't sure how he felt about that. "The kind never to be repeated again?"

"Something like that." Lisbon agreed. "I can't go back."

"More like you won't." Jane corrected not really blaming her. "If you're sure this is what you want."

"I'm sure." Lisbon said. "As long as you don't try to change my mind on the other."

"Why bother?" Jane asked. "It hasn't worked any of the other times."

"And it won't now." Lisbon agreed. "My mind's made up."

"I suppose it is." Jane said. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It is." Lisbon stated firmly. "Oh, and I won't blame you in the morning." She openly addressed his other unstated concern. "We both know you aren't making the first move. I am and I take full responsibility for my actions."

"No, I didn't." Jane agreed. "In fact, I'm doing everything in my power to dissuade you from this path."

Maybe not _everything _since he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

"Yeah, well, you can stop." Lisbon casually informed him. "We're both consenting adults here. There won't be any ugly ramifications from our actions in the light of day. Not from me. I promise."

Closing his eyes against fingers not so accidentally rubbing against his growing erection, Jane fought an internal battle between desire and common sense. He shouldn't be passively taking Lisbon up on her offer. He should be stopping the fingers so efficiently unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. He should; but, he wasn't. Even knowing she _would_ regret this in the morning and there _would_ eventually be hell to pay.

In his defense, he wouldn't regret a thing. He hadn't ended their relationship. She had…Almost as abruptly as it began… But, to Lisbon's credit, it wasn't without fair warning or just cause.

Now, she clearly wanted to dip her toe back in the forbidden pool.

Wanted it badly considering she already had him all but naked in spite of his feeble attempts to stall her. Giving up the ghost of a fight, Jane reached out to pull Lisbon's plum colored blouse over her head smiling at the lacey bits of pale lavender he hadn't expected to see. She must have had something untoward in the back of her mind this morning even if she wasn't aware of it. The woman usually wore far more serviceable undies unless she had reason to bring out the prettier pieces. Helping her step out of her pants, Jane admired the curve of her bottom in the matching swathe of lace before giving in to the small hands pressing insistently against his chest.

"I'm holding you to that." Jane acknowledged her promise.

Allowing Lisbon to shove him back on the bed, he wasn't all that surprised when she practically crawled up his body like a hungry panther. He'd seen this mood before and knew exactly how to handle her. Leaning up to capture her lips with his, he reached behind her to unfasten the pretty lace bra and slide it down her arms. Tossing the garment aside, he made short work of slipping her panties off and letting her take the lead.

Lisbon would make his surrender worthwhile.

She always did….

Opening his eyes a half hour later, Jane was mildly surprised to find his lover still sprawled at his side. For whatever reason, he'd expected to awaken to find Lisbon sneaking out the front door if not already gone. He'd been prepared to let her go surmising that was how she wanted it. He was also prepared to act like none of this had ever happened when he got to work tomorrow if that was how she wanted it. He was under no illusions their unexpected foray into the carnal gave him entry back into her personal life. It didn't. She'd outright stated that fact.

He'd messed up much too well.

Reaching out to touch her cheek, Jane voiced the main thought filling his head instead. "I thought you'd be gone."

Placing her hand on his, Lisbon responded exactly as he'd expected. "Do you want me to go?"

"No." Jane leaned in to press his lips against hers. "I want you to stay. But, you already know that. I never wanted you to go in the first place."

"We're not discussing that now." Lisbon eased closer to him. "In fact, we're not talking at all."

"I like the way you think." Jane ran his hand lightly over her hip savoring the feel of her skin beneath his palm.

Rolling on her back she smirked at how readily Jane covered her body with his. At how easily her thighs draped over his hips just so. At how naturally they'd flowed together from the start. Even if it had been a while; Lisbon knew neither of them had forgotten how beautifully they fit together or how incredible the intimacy was between them.

It wasn't possible.

But, while she might let him back into her body this once in a moment of weakness, she was much too smart to let him back into her soul. As much as she'd wanted to give Jane three strikes before he was out, her heart couldn't stand the strain. He already had two which was one strike too many in some people's opinions including her own.

Now they were done.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks for reviewing, favoriting, and following this story. I appreciate it. Thank you, also, for accepting this story in the spirit and context it was written.

Since I've started posting this, I've wished I'd turned it into another long, more dialogue driven story; but, it wouldn't have been written in a couple of days and given me that quick emotional fix I was seeking! I'm not a big romantic, but that whole Pike thing really aggravated me when I thought Lisbon and Jane should have been working out everything between them. They didn't need a manufactured distraction. They had enough hurdles to cross just being Lisbon and Jane! Yes, I'm laughing at myself for getting this worked up over a television show!

That being said, the story will stay mainly narrative for another couple of chapters both of which are emotionally rough. Lisbon's mood towards Jane continues to be harsh and, in my opinion, he's earned it. Will things smooth out? Yes, they eventually will. ~Calla

#

Cho's favorite four letter cuss word starting with an "s" and ending with a "t" echoing through her head, Lisbon contemplated throwing Jane's tea cup and saucer in the trash. What was his stuff still doing at her place anyway? He hadn't dropped by for a casual cup of tea since their break up. Better yet, she could smash the china in her hands to smithereens against the hard tile floor. Forget that whole trash thing. As satisfactory as the gesture would be, she'd just get left with another Jane mess to clean up. Removing the man from her intimate life wasn't nearly that simple as she'd hoped it would be.

It was even less so now.

Pouring her coffee down the drain, Lisbon hung her head in defeat. Lifting her slumping shoulders, she cursed Jane for screwing with her life yet again and her for letting him. Staring into her spotless stainless steel sink, she admitted she should have stayed with Marcus all those months ago instead of telling him they were over. She really should have. Her life would be a lot less complicated now. She'd probably even be reasonably content instead of p.o.'d at circumstances of her own making.

Or, more accurately, she'd have convinced herself she was happy and that would have been good enough.

But, in true Lisbon style, she hadn't used her common sense when she really should have. Doing so was much too simple. Nor had she refused to answer the door when she knew she should have. Oh, no, she'd had to react as she always did. She'd finished taping that box closed before rising slowly to her feet and heading for the stairs ignoring the voice screaming in her head. The one demanding she let that doorbell ring until the peals fell silent and dejected footsteps faded into the night.

She hadn't done any of that.

She'd opened that door setting a fateful ball in motion instead...One that had gotten her from there to here in the blink of an eye….

Less than a year ago, she'd been joining Marcus in D.C. for her fairy tale life and then she wasn't…Three months later she'd been tangled up with Jane and then she wasn't….

Now, she was back where she'd started….

As alone as she'd always been still cursing the stupid bastard who should have done what it took to keep them together the first time around…It wasn't that hard…She wasn't that demanding…She really wasn't….

She'd even given him a second chance.

Shaking the cobwebs from her mind, Lisbon snorted in disbelief. As tempting as it was sometimes to abandon her vow, she wasn't going back for that third go around. Jane wasn't _that_ fantastic a lover and he certainly wasn't _that_ good of a man.

No man was.

Pike had raised her expectations of what a relationship should be and Jane had failed miserably. Sometimes it was still hard to believe how easily she'd thrown a terrific catch over for Jane. Then again, it really wasn't. With hindsight, maybe Marcus wasn't all that great a catch either. At least Jane had shown up at the last minute to stake his claim even if he'd pussy footed around much too long before he'd finally grown some man parts and done what he should have done from the start.

Unlike the man she'd almost married, there'd been a determined glint in Jane's eyes that night clearly conveying while his lips were saying one thing, he wouldn't have given up without one hell of a fight if she'd tried to stay in D.C.

She'd been surprised that Pike, on the other hand, hadn't really fought at all to keep her when push came to shove. He'd more or less accepted what she said without a battle. She'd been slightly shocked by his ready acceptance. It was almost like he'd always known what she hadn't…That Jane was much too deeply woven into the fabric of her soul and had been for much too long to simply make a clean break…Somewhere deep inside, she'd known it as well.

In the end, Marcus had been gracious enough to let her know if the thing with Jane didn't work out to give him a call.

While he wasn't making any promises, he might still be around. If he was, he wasn't against giving their relationship another try. She'd told him she'd keep that under advisement and thanked him for being a bigger man than she was. She'd also let him know, if anything ever came of Jane and it didn't work out, she wouldn't be tangling him in her mess again. It wouldn't be fair to him. He was a fine man and he deserved better than second best. It seemed he'd taken her at her word.

The last she'd heard, Pike was dating a nice Agent in Counter Terrorism who looked an awful lot like her.

Throwing the dishcloth violently in the sink, Lisbon called Jane every vile name in the book. He'd earned every last one of them. Why couldn't he let her be? She'd been content in the life she'd built over the two years he'd lain low on that island. Well, maybe not exactly _content._ But, her existence wasn't unpleasant and her job was doable with her eyes closed. The best part was she was still working in the profession she loved.

While being a small town Sheriff was about as exciting as watching paint dry, she'd been lucky to land on her feet after the CBI incinerated. She'd also been welcomed with open arms by the people she'd sworn to protect. That meant she was well respected, well paid, and the benefits package was nothing to sneeze at.

She could have retired comfortably in not too many years.

But, no, Jane couldn't leave well enough alone…He'd had to slink back into her life like he'd never left…The rest was a repeat of things the way they had always been.

At least since the moment Patrick Jane entered her life.

She'd known the man was going to end her existence as she knew it the moment she set eyes on him. She'd had that sense of foreboding even then. Enough of one she'd spent a long time calling him "Mr. Jane" and keeping those walls firmly in place between them. She'd refused to acknowledge he was quite the looker even rough around the edges. She'd definitely ignored how handsome he'd been under happier circumstances. Her tactics had worked for a while.

Long enough she'd been quite proud of herself.

But, it hadn't taken that long for Jane to worm his way under her skin. To break through her carefully constructed defenses. Once that was done, there was nothing she could do about it. She'd been in too deep before she knew it. Minelli had tried to warn her and she'd known he was right even as she casually dismissed his "ludicrous" concerns. She'd tried to listen to her surrogate dad. She truly had. Unfortunately, Virgil's warnings came much too late.

Somewhere in the midst of her denials, she'd slipped over the jagged precipice she'd battled so hard to avoid at any cost.

For the good or the bad, it had taken a few years longer to realize she'd willingly jumped over that slippery slope. Actually, it had taken a lifetime for either of them to admit at some point on their twisted journey they'd developed feelings inappropriate for partners and friends. Unfortunately, there'd been another person involved by this point. Someone who didn't deserve the pain they'd caused him.

Feeling that ever present jab of guilt, Lisbon decided not to dwell on Marcus.

That was all water under the bridge. While she was glad he'd finally moved on, she was a little envious of the other woman. Of what she now had…The man she'd so willingly given away…With hindsight, Lisbon admitted she should have dealt with Jane before she ever went out with Pike in the first place. Or, she should have done it soon after; but, she hadn't. It might have given them a real chance.

Unfortunately, she'd been just giddy enough at finally having a normal relationship with a normal man she hadn't given those feelings swirling on the periphery of her consciousness a second thought. She'd fully expected them to go away as her relationship with Marcus deepened. Once she'd gotten to know the man better, she'd jumped into their relationship with both feet and never looked back. She hadn't wanted to. Those niggling feelings were too easy to ignore in the face of the sudden "rightness" of her life. It hadn't taken long to realize she actually wanted what she'd never had.

She'd wanted it bad…just not bad enough.

Mind caught in the same unpleasant never ending loop, Lisbon recalled the look on Marcus's face when she'd met him at his townhouse in DC. He'd known something was terribly wrong and she hadn't tried to pretend otherwise. She'd felt she owed him the courtesy of a face to face meeting and a chance to dissuade her from this newest path if he wanted. As for Pike, he'd indicated he'd known something was off by her tone of voice. When she'd told him they needed to talk instead of simply confirming her ETA, he'd known it. Lisbon knew, if that call hadn't been a dead giveaway, the small overnight bag looped over her shoulder when he picked her up was.

It didn't take a brilliant mind to know one piece of luggage didn't bode well for her having come to stay.

To Pike's credit as an Agent, he'd figured out Jane might cause problems before they were done. To his credit as a romantic, he'd believed they'd weather the storm. To his credit as an honorable man, he'd bowed out gracefully when he'd learned otherwise. He hadn't bothered putting up much of a fight. As much as Lisbon wished he'd been less than gracious and fought harder to keep her by his side, that wasn't the case. He'd simply let her go wishing her every happiness. He hadn't even called her on her less than honorable actions. He'd even let her sleep on his couch and taken her to the airport to catch her return flight the next day sending her on her way with a comforting kiss on the cheek.

She'd spent the rest of her flight to Austin dissecting the situation. Neither she nor Jane had really _done_ anything dishonorable… Not sleazy or unhanded anyway…Not if you didn't count acting like a couple of fools until the last possible minute. They certainly hadn't touched each other. They hadn't done that for several months after.

She hadn't wanted the complications and Jane had been willing to give her that much needed time.

Besides, hearing Jane say, "I don't want you to go and not because D.C.'s boring." added to the sight of that ringless finger was enough to hold her until she'd worked through her feelings for Pike. It seemed her reaction to his words was enough to reassure Jane for which she was grateful. She wasn't quite ready to move on yet. Fortunately, Jane had understood just because ending her relationship was the right thing to do didn't mean it was easy. Or that she hadn't loved Marcus dearly. Jane had seemed to know she had.

Just not "dearly" enough when compared to her feelings for him.

She clearly loved Jane more, and if she was honest, she still did which was precisely what had gotten her in the pickle she currently found herself in.

Staring at her pocket calendar as she bounced the box in her hand, Lisbon shook her head as her other hand came to rest over her belly. She didn't need a home pregnancy test or a doctor's confirmation to know what was going on inside her body. She didn't need those spooky senses Jane had been vocally denying for so many years to see the writing on the wall. Suffice it to say she could feel the answer in her toes. She was healthy as a horse and she was never late. Or, she never had been. Not after having unprotected sex with a lover because, hey, she'd never done that.

Not even once.

She was always very circumspect. Or she had been. This was the one thing she'd never wanted to happen for a lot of different reasons. Not the least of which, there wasn't really a place in her life for any of this. Her work still consumed her as it always had and she liked it that way. Who wouldn't enjoy playing with things that go boom and catching bad guys? There was just something about being a small chick carrying a big gun that really did it for her. Now she'd messed up her near perfect life.

Damn it all.

There was no excuse for what she'd done and no denying this was all her fault. She'd come on to Jane and he'd taken her up on her offer. Not without a fair amount of internal struggle she'd watched play out across his face. But, in the end, he'd capitulated and they'd spent a very active night together. Unfortunately, the game changer she'd known, and he hadn't, somehow slipped her mind and not because she was drunk.

She'd been in control of all of her faculties which was why she was fighting a near over whelming compulsion to beat her head against the wall for her stupidity. How she'd conveniently "forgotten" she'd stopped taking contraceptives the day after she'd ended their relationship was beyond her. In her infinite wisdom several months ago, she'd thought tossing her pills would serve as a solid deterrent to rekindling her steamy relationship with Jane. She'd known he would be a temptation hard to resist for a while.

They worked too closely together and the sex was too damned good for it to be otherwise.

As much as she was regretting her choice at the moment, Lisbon had to admit it was a move that had worked quite well in the past. Now, she couldn't believe she'd been foolish enough to believe anything so lame would apply to Jane. It certainly hadn't held true in practice. Her partner was too overwhelming for that.

He'd always been able to get around her carefully erected defenses almost from the start. Over the years they'd both come to realize there was something special between them. Something they'd both called "friendship" she'd realized was something entirely different when she'd committed to making a life in DC.

She'd had to face the cold hard fact she'd always reacted to Jane in ways she never had to other men, including Marcus. No matter how deeply she'd loved Pike. Enough so she'd nearly followed him to DC knowing m-a-r-r-i-a-g-e was waiting at the end of the Yellow Brick Road. As crazy as it was to think now, she'd been okay with Marcus putting a ring on her finger. She'd never once felt any desire to cut and run as she always had in the past. Probably because Marcus was an undeniably decent man she'd genuinely fallen for.

One of the best she'd ever known.

So decent, in fact, she'd never doubted his affection was anything but that stable, forever kind of love she'd never had before and always wanted. She'd adored his company even if he had pushed things forward too fast to be entirely comfortable for her. If that wasn't enough, he'd actually spoiled her. She'd enjoyed that as well. If she was honest with herself, she'd _wanted_ to marry him. Wanted it badly enough she'd done everything in her power to make that fairy tale happen. She'd thought she'd succeeded.

They both did.

Until Jane had let her know in no uncertain terms he hoped she wouldn't go.

That was all it had taken. In the end, it seemed her too observant Boss was right. Jane _hadn't _realized she'd really intended going until she'd almost been out the door. She hadn't realized he'd cared like that until he'd made it apparent in that clear-as-mud Jane kind of way. Things had snowballed from there. The truth had crashed down on her like an avalanche. She'd known she couldn't go. She couldn't leave Jane behind.

He'd been too integral a part of her life for way too long.

And while he hadn't precisely said he wanted anything more than what they already had, a friendly partnership, she'd known. She'd seen the truth in his eyes as she was sure he'd seen it in hers. If that wasn't enough, that bare ring finger said it all. However, they'd both known it wasn't time. There was still unresolved business she'd had to attend to. Business of the painful kind better handled in private.

As agonizing as the confrontation had been, both she and Marcus had faced the truth in the end. While she loved him, she truly did; the madness she felt for Jane was so much more. He'd been a constant too long to completely sever their bond even for that elusive chance at true love and happiness.

Staring at her reflection, Lisbon firmly decided she'd spent the past hour mired in the same broken loop that wouldn't quit playing through her head over and over again. She'd contemplated her past from every angle. She'd dissected her relationship with Marcus until there was nothing left but bloody emotional detritus. She'd done the same with her relationship with Jane as far as she was willing to go.

She'd also conveniently ignored any thoughts of the future.

She was too busy confronting her present to deal with anything else.

As disappointed as she was in herself, her actions that night said everything. All it had taken was shooting a kid in self defense, a stiff drink, and the smell of Jane for her to have him naked beneath her and up to something. Unfortunately, she'd failed to inform him he needed to grab one of those handy dandy packets from his bedside drawer before she'd taken him into her body. She'd been too far gone in her lust to act responsibly. Nor had she thought of it any of the other times they'd come together during the night.

In fact, she hadn't thought of it all until the next morning when she realized she'd allowed Jane to spend himself within her several times without the benefit of protection. Eyes widening in shock at her oversight, she'd quickly gotten her feelings under control. In the end, she'd decided not to tell Jane what she'd realized. There was no reason to alarm him without just cause. She had promised him there would be no ugly ramifications from their actions.

Now, she was fairly certain she'd lied through her teeth.

She just needed to pee on a stick to prove it.

Rolling her eyes, Lisbon tried one last time to dissuade herself from opening the box she'd bought on the spur of the moment last night. She couldn't possibly be pregnant…They'd only been together one night…But, it certainly hadn't been one time…Besides, everyone knew one time was all it took…It hadn't been that long since she'd stopped taking her pills and it took time for fertility to be restored…While that might be true in some cases, it wasn't true for everyone or her college roommate wouldn't have gotten pregnant after missing only one pill…She was older now…She shouldn't get pregnant as easily as a younger woman…Yeah?...She wasn't _that_ old…Deciding to stop wasting her time, Lisbon peeled the wrapper off the box and studied the directions.

Honestly, there wasn't that much to it. All she had to do was follow the instructions. She'd have her answer in no time in duplicate. Sighing in resignation, Lisbon did just that and laid the plastic sticks aside. Closing her eyes, she counted in her head waiting patiently for enough time to pass. Opening one eye she closed it again wanting to block the sight of those unmistakable double lines out of her mind.

Well, there was nothing for it but scheduling a discrete appointment with her doctor. Once she got confirmation, she'd figure out her next step. It wasn't so much a question of if she'd tell Jane. She would. He was her child's father and he had every right to know. It was more of a question of how she'd go about doing it. Somehow just popping out with, "I'm pregnant and you're the father." didn't cut it. Especially considering their relationship in the weeks since conception had been anything but intimate.

In fact, she'd made it clear from the start that their momentary lapse of judgment wasn't happening again. That aspect of their togetherness was over and they weren't going back. They'd had a moment of weakness. That moment had passed. She'd even reminded him why they'd ended and laid the demise squarely at his feet. Jane had reluctantly agreed with her stance and their lives had fallen back into the familiar pattern it had always been.

For the time being, they were partners in every way but the one that counted.

It seemed stupidity and the Universe was conspiring to change that circumstance.

Jane's reaction was the only wild card in the mix.


	5. Chapter 5

Pulling into a first row parking space in the mostly empty parking lot, Jane cut the engine and took a few minutes to collect his thoughts. While he didn't think it was anything all that important, he was mildly surprised Lisbon wanted a private meeting with him at all. These days, their relationship was very public. As they both wished it to be. While they still worked as closely together as they always had, true intimacy was off limits. They didn't do that anymore. Not like they had once upon a time. Certainly nothing like when they were having their much too brief "fling." Jane gave a credible Lisbon snort. That was her word for their liaison. Not his.

_He_ wasn't stupid enough to label what they'd had so foolishly.

Settling his disinterested mask firmly in place, he opened the door and unfolded from the car seat. Gathering his thoughts, Jane glanced over at Lisbon's empty vehicle and realized she must already be inside the diner placing their order. It wasn't like they had that long before they had to be back at the office and it had taken him longer to get here than normal thanks to a minor accident. Delays aside, their impromptu luncheon needed to follow a fairly tight schedule. Deciding to move things right along, Jane headed for the empty table they'd chosen as theirs a long time ago. Dropping into one of the comfortable chairs, he turned his attentions towards locating Lisbon.

Glancing inside, he saw that she was indeed standing at the counter getting ready to bring their tray. While the polite part of him dictated he should at least open the door for her, the part that was still displeased with the woman recognized the door was easily opened and closed. All she had to do was give it a little push with her hip. She'd done just that a million times over the years in similar situations.

Changing his mind as Lisbon walked towards him, Jane decided to be enough of a gentleman to rise and take the tray from her. Setting it on the table, he watched Lisbon settle into the chair beside him. Emptying the tray, he handed her the paper lined basket filled with whatever specialty burger she'd ordered this week accompanied by homemade Cole Slaw and a generous serving of crispy fries. He thought it was probably the Jalapeno Buffalo Ranch Burger she liked so well from the faintly spicy scent he detected. Watching her take a sip of her favorite homemade cherry lemonade, Jane set his basket in front of his place before carrying the tray over to the bin by the trashcan.

Stopping to stare at Lisbon's back for a moment, Jane wondered yet again why she'd wanted this meeting. He hoped she didn't want to reconcile. Not that he was under any illusions she did. He wasn't. He just hoped she didn't anyway. He hadn't been the one to walk away. She had. For no good reason he could fathom except the intensity of their relationship was getting more than she wanted to handle. Well, there was more to it than that; but, he didn't really want to rehash reality. He much preferred his personal spin.

It was a whole lot easier to swallow.

Truthfully, there was a whole lot more to their demise that couldn't be laid anywhere but squarely at his front door. However, he wasn't going there. The situation was far easier to tolerate when he played it his way.

Blamed their sad ending on Lisbon rather than embracing his fair share of the blame.

So, continuing in that vein, Jane willingly admitted she'd been fine as long as they'd kept things sensual and easy…More companionable and sexual than gut wrenchingly emotional…But, he'd wanted more and pushed for just that fast and hard...Maybe a little too hard…When their relations had taken an obvious turn towards permanence, Lisbon had eventually balked as he'd half way expected her to. It _was_ her standard M.O. in a couple of prior relationships he knew of…However, she'd reacted differently with Pike…Very differently…She'd rolled with it and fallen for the man to the point she'd come far too close to leaving with him…And he'd let that happen right in front of his eyes.

Jane couldn't believe he'd been so stupid.

After years of subtly protecting his territory, he'd foolishly forgotten the lesson he'd learned from Mashburn, miscalculated, and almost lost her for good…Lisbon had fully embraced the real deal before realizing she couldn't go through with it…She'd truly loved Marcus…She had…Fortunately, she'd realized in the nick of time that while she loved Pike, she didn't love him nearly enough…Not enough to give up her independence and leave everything and _everyone_ that she knew behind….

He'd never been so appreciative of small blessings in his life.

Jane expelled the breath he'd been holding. While he'd been reasonably sure Pike would never last, he'd almost lost that bet. Things weren't going his way at the end and he wasn't too egotistical to admit it. He'd eventually given in to the not so subtle nudging he'd been getting from interested parties and sacrificed his pride. He'd let Lisbon know he didn't want her to go. Whether he showed it openly or not, he cared for her, he cared deeply, and he cared like _that_.

Her emotions had done the rest.

She'd elected to stay and he'd wisely given her time to clear her head and get over the heartbreak before he'd made his very unmistakable move. He'd been mildly surprised when she'd stated in no uncertain terms she'd been wondering how long he was going to take to act… Or if she was going to have to do it for him…Things had heated up quickly from there and neither of them had put the brakes on.

They'd just continued pursuing what was between them as though being together was the most natural thing in the world. Perhaps it was since they'd both felt the same. Lisbon hadn't seemed particularly bothered he'd assumed control of their relationship. She'd let him do as he pleased up to a point as she always had. When he crossed the line, she'd said her piece and he'd responded appropriately for the most part.

Or he had until they reached the point where it really mattered.

He'd been playing for keeps and he'd almost made it. He should have known things weren't going to go as smoothly as he'd planned. They rarely did. Unfortunately, he miscalculated a move with devastating results. One he should have foreseen and rectified. But, he hadn't and his misstep had given Lisbon just cause to entertain those pesky second thoughts long before he'd completely sealed the deal.

He could now admit his blind stupidity had cost him dearly.

Like the thoughtless, overzealous bastard he sometimes was, he'd pulled a move reminiscent of the old Jane in the name of the game without warning Lisbon. It wasn't like he'd had a whole lot of choice. If he'd hesitated, the bad guys would have gotten away. He couldn't let that happen. He was one of the good guys and that was what good guys did. They caught the bad guys. They didn't let them get away.

However, in this instance, it was in his best interest to let them.

As it was, his actions hadn't gone over well…Not at all…Lisbon hadn't cared he'd been forbidden from telling anyone he was going undercover…She'd been royally angry he'd taken that to include her…Since when had he ever listened to the higher ups?...If that wasn't bad enough, add the fact he'd been off the radar for almost three days…His secret lover and the rest of the team had been frantic.

While he'd gotten the bad guys in the end, he'd irreparably damaged Lisbon's trust yet again. It hadn't taken Cho's telling him he put the "ass" in "dumbass" for Jane to realize he might never get the smelly stuff off the bottom of his shoe. The truly sad thing was Kimball, like everyone else, hadn't known they were involved. Abbott probably suspected it; but, they hadn't given anyone the proof to hang them with. The Korean Agent had merely been referring to their friendship and partnership of so many years.

It didn't help the bad guys he'd rounded up had been really, _really_ bad. As in remorseless, Cartel hit men monsters who decapitated their still screaming victims for fun. If anyone doubted the screaming part, all they had to see the photographs of the wide open mouths frozen in silent agony. It didn't take an FBI Agent to realize the final thoughts going through their heads had nothing to do with praying and everything to do with that machete heading their way. Not that Jane needed the reinforcement. He'd witnessed one of those murders in the flesh.

He still had trouble getting that visual out of his head.

But, none of that really mattered. All Lisbon cared about in the end was the three days of hell he'd put her through when she'd fully expected to find his head among the dead and dying. She'd looked worse than she had when he'd dropped down beside her on that Church pew a good six months into his furlough to Vegas. He'd felt bad for putting her through all of that even if it was for the greater good. Lisbon hadn't thought "feeling bad" was enough. It had taken her a couple of weeks to get her head back on straight the duration of which she'd barely spoken to him much less anything else.

However, in true Lisbon style, she'd eventually forgiven him and their relationship had gotten back on track.

He'd thought they were out of turbulent waters until he'd done something stupid without thinking and spooked Lisbon yet again. She didn't care he'd only gotten winged on the bicep. He'd acted too much like the old, reckless Jane he'd promised never to be again and taken unnecessary risks he shouldn't have taken.

To say she was angry was a massive understatement.

If he'd thought they'd navigate through this storm as they had the last, he'd gotten a rude awakening. Unfortunately, it took two to tango and Lisbon chose to abruptly end their dance. She'd let him know in no uncertain terms she was in too deep for his usual crap and she couldn't do it anymore. She'd rather end it now than go through the nightmare of watching his arrogant stupidity get him killed. So she'd done just that. Cut her losses so fast it made his head spin.

She wasn't about to be a widow before ever saying "I do."

Months later, Jane was still convinced she'd screwed up in dumping him. He would have changed if she'd given him that one final chance. The thrill of the game was nothing compared to having Lisbon in his life and it had nothing to do with sex. Well, maybe a little; but, not _that_ much. He realized that now and he was sorry. Maybe he'd taken a bit too long to realize her tolerance threshold for his shenanigans wasn't nearly as high when they were sleeping together as it was when they weren't. He knew it now.

Just as he knew his thoughts on the matter weren't entirely rational.

He shouldn't be blaming Lisbon for the mess they'd made since he was ultimately to blame for their breakup; but, he did. He couldn't help it. He was still mad as a wet hen about the whole situation. It didn't matter whose fault it was. Lisbon shouldn't have left. Not without talking things through. She should have stayed and fought for what they had. It was that important. He'd had no intention of going anywhere and he wasn't ever pulling another stunt like the last one he had.

Even if the Governor had given him accolades for tightening the noose on some of the deadliest degenerates in the U.S. of A.

He no longer had a death wish and getting winged had driven his mortality home. He was happy to stay on the sidelines and let the real Agents confront whizzing bullets as he usually did. From his perspective, getting shot wasn't all that fun. Besides, he had too much to live for. He finally understood Lisbon was more important than all the mind games and accolades in the world.

It didn't matter he was a little late in figuring that out.

But, no, Lisbon wasn't about to play by the unspoken rules they'd always observed. She'd known better than giving him an opportunity to change her mind. She'd played her cards wisely and forced his hand by refusing to talk. She'd efficiently shut down his arguments and stuck to her guns instead. He'd had no choice but to let her go so he had. To his disbelieve, she'd never turned back as she walked out the door.

She'd continued looking straight ahead.

Jane hoped Lisbon hadn't suddenly realized she'd made a mistake. That she didn't want a second chance. If she had, that was just too bad. Two could play her game. He couldn't do it again and he wouldn't. Losing her the first time had broken his heart. That second fiasco had nearly killed him. Their aborted one night stand a few weeks ago had finished him off. He simply wasn't interested in getting back on that merry-go-round for a fourth encounter.

Not now that he'd finally decided he was over her.


	6. Chapter 6

Slipping back into his chair, Jane put a halt to his disturbing thoughts. They needed to eat and get whatever this was over with. It was obviously fairly important and fairly personal given Lisbon had picked the most isolated table on the whole patio in spite of his hopes to the contrary. Given it was smack in the middle of the that more off-than-on time of day nestled between the lunch and dinner crowds, there wasn't anyone near enough to hear their conversation which was clearly how she'd wanted it. In fact, there wasn't anyone on the patio at all and only a few patrons milling about inside.

The hairs stood up on the back of Jane's neck as he realized everything about this whole scenario was off. It didn't feel like the nothing he was pretending it was. The vibes coming off Lisbon were unsettling. In fact, they were just plain weird. He'd never seen or felt her quit this way before. Not in all of the years they'd worked together. As much as he hoped otherwise, he was pretty darned sure whatever had her knickers in a knot was bigger than he'd thought. It felt more like something they should be discussing behind closed doors at his place or hers. Or it would be if they still did those kinds of things which they didn't.

Hence, they were out in the open where anyone walking by could accidentally hear.

"So, Lisbon, what's on your mind?" Jane asked as he stole one of her French Fries expecting the half hearted swipe he got for his trouble. "You finally decide to take Hanson up on that date?"

It wouldn't surprise him if she had. She seemed to have developed a taste for fellow agents she'd never displayed at the CBI. She'd gotten together with Pike fairly quickly and him not that long after. It was like she'd gotten more receptive to the whole idea of being in a relationship once Red John was gone. Or maybe she'd just mellowed a little with age and started realizing it wasn't all that healthy to be alone. Or maybe Marcus had proven to Lisbon she was capable of sustaining a viable, committed relationship. Who really knew?

"Hardly." Lisbon said as she grabbed one of his fried shrimp and dipped it into homemade Tartar Sauce. "Besides, I don't think I'll be seeing Hanson or anyone else for a while even if I wanted to." She didn't need to add the "which I don't" as the man across from her knew exactly how she felt about Charlie Hanson. How she felt about men in general at the moment. She'd sworn off of them and it was largely his fault. Deciding it was time to end the torture, she caught Jane's eye and said what she'd come to say. "I'm pregnant."

Jane choked on his tea feeling like she'd just kicked him in the privates without fair warning. "I didn't know you were seeing anyone…Who's the lucky guy?"

He knew she wasn't seeing Pike again considering he was half way across the country. Then again, with Lisbon anything was possible. Marcus _had_ flown back into town briefly five weeks ago to tie up a few remaining loose ends on a cold case that had suddenly turned hot to get an arrest. Maybe he'd looked her up then. Maybe they'd gone at it one last time for old time's sake.

If wasn't like _they_ hadn't already done the same.

If she'd done the deed with Pike, he'd bet money Lisbon had brought him here to tell him she was going to DC after all. If her kid was her old lover's, he expected her to do nothing less. If it wasn't, she'd be spilling the beans on the father before too long. Jane was positive of that. He'd trick it out of her if he had to.

"I'm not." Lisbon ignored the raised eyebrow saying she'd done more than _see_ someone at least once or she wouldn't be enceinte. "So you can stop looking at me that way."

"Lisbon, surely you aren't trying to tell me this is a case of spontaneous generation?" Jane asked with more than a tinge of disbelief in his voice. "I don't think that's possible or that I'd believe you if you said it was."

"Don't be an ass." Lisbon snapped. "What I _am_ saying is remember that night about nine weeks ago at your place?"

The one where that whole "not so much" outside of work hadn't held true.

As if either of them would ever forget that night. She'd dragged him to his queen sized bed and had her wicked way. He'd turned the tables on her soon after. They'd both been rather frisky for quite a few hours after.

"Shit." Jane said emphatically as it dawned on his stunned mind that Pike wasn't the fire she'd rekindled one last time for old time's sake. "You're saying you and I…When we…That we…."

So much for figuring that was the last chance he would have to get that close to the woman and making the most of it…To copulating with a mad desperation imprinted on both their of their minds forever…If what she was saying was true, they'd certainly succeeded in their mission…In ways neither of them had ever fully considered.

"Created a kid?" Lisbon's eyebrow rose at his stuttering reaction mildly surprised she'd managed to truly shock him after all these years. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying…Surprise, you're going to be a father again…I hope you're ready for it." Lisbon cut to the chase rather crudely.

Jane raised a brow at her as though questioning how the hell this could possibly happen. Deciding to put him out of his misery, Lisbon answered his unvoiced query as succinctly as she'd dropped the "P bomb" on him. He deserved nothing better.

"Contrary to what you probably thought, I tossed my pills when we broke up." Lisbon admitted. "There wasn't any reason to continue taking them. I wasn't reconciling with Marcus and we were done. I certainly wasn't going out with Hanson even if he thought I was. Even if I had, that so wasn't happening with him. Not ever. Besides, I needed to concentrate on work. You know that."

Lisbon continued babbling the prewritten speech in her head as though Jane wasn't boring a hole through her stomach with his eyes.

"Unfortunately, I conveniently forgot I'd done any of that in the heat of the moment. If I hadn't, we wouldn't be in this mess…As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think saying I'm sorry quite cuts it; but, I am…Not for this," She rested her hand against her belly. "Just sorry I didn't prevent it from happening."

Looking somewhere to the left of him, Lisbon still couldn't believe she'd gotten so caught up in seducing Jane something that big slipped her mind. It never had before. Not even once. Then again she hadn't been fooling around with Patrick Jane. There was something about the man and the heat flaring up between them that made common sense fly right out the window. In the end, _that_ was why she'd stopped seeing him.

He scared the hell out of her…Or, rather, what she felt for him did…She really didn't care that he claimed to feel the same…Well, there was also the fact he was a risk taking trouble magnet who didn't always think twice about his personal safety and she couldn't handle that either…Not when they were sleeping together.

She'd realized pretty fast Jane getting himself killed would kill her with that whole drug lord case.

Not literally; but, in every way that mattered.

Not that Jane was given to taking those kind so of chances often. But, he should have turned that whole undercover Cartel thing down. He knew better and he should have considered her feelings. Six agents had already died working that case over the last six years. It was much too dangerous. The higher ups should never have suggested him and Abbott should never have allowed it. Jane wasn't a trained FBI Agent.

He was, however, an incredible asset in situations where nothing else worked.

The higher ups had been willing to take their chances on a Jane caper and they'd felt they could keep him safe. Lisbon snorted at that thought. Tell that to the wives and girlfriends of the agents who'd lost their heads. Oh, and to Agent Hernandez who'd lost her life in an even more horrendous way. They'd thought they could protect her, too. More like they'd thought the fact she was banging one of the big bosses would keep her safe.

Not so much when they'd figured out she was a Feeb in deep cover.

Whether he realized it or not, there was a big difference between the chances an Agent took in the line of duty and what he did…They weren't remotely comparable…She'd realized that about the time he'd gotten himself winged for no good reason…To his credit, he usually stayed out of the line of fire…For some inexplicable reason considering she nor none of the team was in clear and present danger, he hadn't that time…She'd heard his cry seconds before she saw the blood and she'd died inside.

It didn't matter in the end that Jane had been more concerned about his ruined suit jacket than the through and through that, while painful, wasn't all that serious as nothing vital had been hit but the fleshy part of his arm.

_He_ might not have been; but, she was done. _They_ were done. She'd let him know a couple of days later once he was back at work and she was sure he was fine. He'd tried to dissuade her; but, she'd had none of it. She'd walked out his door, actually _her _door, and never looked back. Mercifully, they'd fallen back into their old patterns with no one the wiser there was discord between them. Why should they be? No one had known they'd been seeing each other like _that _in the first place. Or, if they were, they'd kept the knowledge to themselves. After the very public ending of her last relationship, Lisbon had wanted it that way and her lover had respected her wishes.

After Jane, she'd sworn off of men. Gone back to living for her work as she usually did. She wasn't all that interested in getting back on the emotional rollercoaster any time soon. Not for a good long while. She'd succeeded with her intent for the most part. Unfortunately, it was that one time she'd gotten carried away by lust causing all the trouble now. It seemed, in spite of her best intentions, the damage was already done.

"Damn it, say something." Lisbon commanded softly.

"I'm not sure what I should say except I don't blame you for feeling that way about Hanson." There was a humorous twist to Jane's lips conveying, personally, that he thought there was something slightly off about that guy like maybe he took being handsome Mr. FBI Man way too seriously.

As for blaming her for the other, he hadn't made up his mind on that one. He did, however, agree with her stance that sorry didn't quite cut it under the circumstances. She'd known he'd assumed she was still taking her trusty pill. She could have at least said something after the first time when they'd both had a chance to come down to earth. The deed might already have been done; but, at least they could have pretended they'd acted half way responsibly.

Then again, why should he have taken it for granted she was protecting the both of them? While her private life had heated up since she'd joined the FBI, Lisbon was far from a promiscuous woman. He could count the number of romantic entanglements she'd had since he'd known her on less than one hand counting him. He knew for a fact she hadn't been with anyone since their breakup. He wasn't about to say how; but, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt his belief was true. He also knew he'd had no right to take it for granted she was protected. Unlike some men, he'd never believe it was solely the woman's duty to prevent conception. That being said, he had as much responsibility in their predicament as she did. He'd been every bit as remiss in taking such an important thing for granted as she'd been in having a stupid moment.

"Have you gotten confirmation?" Jane knew she had even as he asked the question. "Knowing you, I'm assuming you have."

"What do you think?" Lisbon rolled her eyes at him. "I was in the doctor's office the day after I got the quadruple lines."

"When?" Jane asked not really sure he wanted to know. "Exactly how long have you known we had an issue?"

Only Patrick Jane would call his "issue" an issue in such a calm manner.

"Three weeks ago yesterday." Lisbon said quietly. "I'm never late so I knew something was wrong and I was pretty sure what that something was. The doctor estimated I was about six weeks then. Fortunately, I know he's right beyond any shadow of a doubt."

She'd have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to think any differently. They'd called it quits three months before that last hoorah so it wasn't hard to pinpoint an exact date for conception. They were only together the one night and there hadn't been anyone else either before or since. Not for her anyway. She wasn't that kind of woman.

"Why didn't you say something before now?" Jane asked. "I would have been with you from the start. In fact, I would have liked to be there to see those quadruple lines. That isn't something you should have gone through alone."

"It wasn't so bad." Lisbon lied denying it had been much worse. "It took a little getting used to; but, I handled it."

"Let me rephrase things." Jane said quietly. "Didn't you think I had a right to know from the start?"

"You were seeing Lovell." Lisbon said equally quiet. "I didn't want to mess things up for you."

"I was _not _seeing Lovell or you wouldn't be telling me now." Jane corrected her. "Like you, I'm not seeing anyone nor have I been since we got together. In case you haven't figured it out, I wasn't seeing anyone before we got together." There hadn't been anyone since that nightmare with Lorelei…No one except her. "I owed the woman a "Thank You" dinner for the extra help she gave us with the Smithfield case. It was nothing more and nothing less even if she wished it was. I didn't take her up on her not too subtle offer."

Sometimes he couldn't believe Lisbon. He wanted to shake some sense into the woman blinking at him; but, he wouldn't. For one thing, she was pregnant and one didn't shake the mother of one's child. For another, she'd probably kill him with her bare hands. If she didn't, she'd beat the snot out of him with plenty of justification. It was far better to let her be stupid if she wanted. It would hurt less...At least in the physical sense.

"I didn't know that." Lisbon said. "That's not how it looked when she appeared in the office all dressed up and you two left together."

Denny Lovell had been unusually attractive that day in her chic coral linen chemise and matching coral and gold sandals which was saying a lot since the woman was mighty pretty every day.

"Appearances aside, you should have known better." Jane said quietly. "I would have told you before I started seeing someone new. I certainly wouldn't have sprung it on you. Not like that. I hope you'd give me the same courtesy."

"Why?" Lisbon asked. "You were perfectly within your rights to move on. We weren't together anymore."

"Whose fault is that?" Jane groused still smarting over the lingering unpleasantness between them. "It wasn't mine."

"We made that decision together." Lisbon quietly reminded him remembering their discussion well.

Or, rather, her version of the heated talk they'd had.

"That's not how it was and you know it." Jane corrected her. "One day _you_ decided it wasn't working out. _I_ decided no such thing. In fact, I thought we were happy together."

"Maybe we were, but it couldn't work. Not in the long run." Lisbon continued ignoring the look in his eyes mimicking that same look he'd gotten when she'd told him they shouldn't see each other anymore and why. "It was a workplace fling. They never last. By their very nature they're doomed from the start."

"Right." Jane huffed. "It was a workplace fling over a dozen years in the making. I'd say that's a little more meaningful than some lust-driven bump and grind even if we do happen to work together. Wouldn't you?"

"Maybe." Lisbon responded to the look so eloquently "saying" Jane thought she was a true blue idiot for thinking whatever ridiculous thoughts she was currently entertaining. "It doesn't change anything. Whatever the cause, we didn't last."

She bit her tongue to keep from reminding him it was largely due to his incessant need to play mind games with the dangerous human cockroaches inhabiting their world that had caused their demise in the first place. If he hadn't chosen to roll around in the dung with the resident scum, their lives wouldn't be in the crapper now. They'd probably still be together though it was doubtful they'd be expecting a little one. Not for a while to come. What she did know with certainty is she definitely wouldn't have tossed her pills if they were and she seriously doubted he had super sperm.

"I think you're wrong this time." Jane contradicted her. "There's a small part that's going to last a very long time whether you want it to or not. While you might not want to be with me, there's nothing you can do to change the fact that's my kid hanging out in the human condo here." He reached over to rest his palm discretely across her belly ignoring the look that should have seared his hand from his arm was he any other man. "Nothing I think you're willing to do anyway."

"You're right about that." Lisbon didn't try to deny his observation. "Honestly, Jane, I'm not sure what to say at this point beyond the fact we've made a colossal mistake that's going to affect the rest of our lives. Now, we don't have any choice but to deal with it. Oh, you know that human condo remark? It so didn't get you any brownie points."

"Creating life is never a mistake." Jane corrected her. "It all comes down to the fact we were intimate in an unwise moment and you conceived. I foolishly assumed you were protected and you weren't thinking clearly. We can leave it at that. I certainly don't blame you for getting caught up in the moment. We'd had a heinous day and I don't think either of us was at our best. Exactly why I should have turned you down but didn't."

Lisbon blinked at his words. It was true she'd been a touch emotionally overwrought at killing a boy who shouldn't have died. One who, for all intents and purposes, was nothing more than a deadly child who'd made rash decisions when he'd found himself unexpectedly cornered. Decisions that resulted in his death as he'd left FBI Agent T. Lisbon with no other option than putting a bullet between his eyes. However, all of that aside, she couldn't let him kill innocent people because he was upset his father was fired from his lucrative job. Nineteen was old enough to know better and Roxton Senior shouldn't have been embezzling in the first place.

Truthfully, in the final analysis, she hadn't been all that torn up over ending a bad seed already possessing a nasty Juvie rap sheet containing everything from petty larceny to attempted rape. She _had,_ however, been missing Jane terribly and looking for any excuse to scratch a very persistent itch that showed no signs of waning.

However, none of those thoughts were any of Jane's business.

"You do know none of this would have happened if we hadn't already been intimate." Lisbon admitted as though saying the words made their actions better. It didn't. She hadn't been hurting enough physically or emotionally to be out of her mind. Neither of them had been remotely drunk. They hadn't had but one drink. She'd known exactly what she was doing in that moment in time and so had Jane when he'd taken her up on her offer. "I wouldn't have come onto you no matter how bad I was hurting."

She wouldn't have had the nerve.

"I wouldn't have taken you up on the offer if you had." Jane agreed with her. "But, since we'd already been involved; it was easy to say yes. Neither of us saw any reason not to take the comfort we both wanted. You could hardly claim I'd taken advantage of the situation when you made the first move and I didn't see any reason to turn you down."

"I couldn't do that anyway." Lisbon said. "It's not like you didn't give me every chance to back out. I just conveniently forgot the other part of the equation. The part that was really stupid. If I hadn't, we could have prevented this from happening and still done what we did."

"Well, this isn't something we can take back now." Jane reminded her. "It's also something I'm pretty confident you don't want to end or you wouldn't have told me."

"Don't even go there." Lisbon fixed him with a glare for insinuating she'd consider any such option yet again. "What you mean is I wouldn't have waited so long to tell you…Honestly, I wasn't sure how to tell you…I finally decided straight out was best."

"You decided right." Jane said reaching over to pat her on the hand. "While I won't say I'm happy about the circumstances, this isn't anything we can't handle like two adults. I've been a father before and you're a natural mother whether you believe that or not. We'll be fine."

"You're really not upset?" Lisbon bit into her thoroughly cooked hamburger deciding it wasn't that bad even if she'd prefer it a little less done. "You don't seem to be."

"Are you?" Jane responded to her question with a question in typical Jane fashion. "You don't seem to be either."

"I knew I was pregnant before it was ever confirmed so I've had a while to get used to the idea." Lisbon answered honestly. "Surprisingly, at this stage, I think I'm more excited than anything."

"As you should be." Jane agreed. "No, I'm not really upset either."

He wasn't exactly upset; but, he wasn't thrilled either. Once he got things settled to his satisfaction, he would be. A child was a lot to be excited about. A child with Lisbon was even more so. He'd be happy as soon as the idea grew on him. He'd also be figuring out how best to handle their changing lives with as little drama as humanly possible. Lisbon didn't like messes and he didn't intend letting this situation degenerate into one.

Not even at work.

"I'm glad." Lisbon said. "I'm not sure how I would have handled any of this if you hadn't wanted it."

"That would never happen." Jane told her quietly. "Not only is that child mine automatically ensuring he's wanted, he's yours as well. That changes everything. You have to know that."

"Yeah?" Lisbon asked. "How so?"

"You're the only woman other than Angela I could see myself doing this with." Jane admitted. "While I'd prefer this situation was planned, that's not how it happened so there's no point in being upset over something we can't change."

"That's pretty adult of you." Lisbon snarked glancing at her watch wishing he'd been as adult about being a human target a few months back. It would have saved them both a lot of heartache. "Look, I know we still have a lot to discuss; but, we're out of time. I have a meeting with Abbott in thirty minutes and Fischer is expecting you to help her and Cho on that money laundering call girl case or whatever it turns out to be."

"It's a bit of very unpleasant nastiness is what it is and we're going to find a lot more than just one murder before we're done. I'd say there's more than just laundered money and high classed escorts going out the back door of that restaurant/night club. A whole lot more." Jane said quietly. "What do you say I pick up something for dinner and swing by your place tonight after work? Say about seven? We can have something to eat and finish discussing where we go from here."

Hopefully back together like he'd never stopped wanting them to be.

"Make it seven thirty and we have a deal." Lisbon said quietly knowing she needed that extra half hour for a nice long soak before tackling Jane again. "I'll leave your key in the usual place in case I'm not done when you get there."

"That works for me." Jane nodded. "We need to get a move on or you're going to be late for that meeting with Abbott."

Taking their baskets to the trash can, Jane dumped the contents and set the baskets in the collection bin before walking back to Lisbon's side. Silently escorting her to her SUV, he kissed her cheek and walked to his car. As much as he'd like to fuss over her, he knew better. She wouldn't thank him for his trouble. It was enough, under the circumstances, that they were both acting like calm, civilized human beings. That the eyes she turned towards him were softer than they'd been in a number of weeks. Giving her a final wave, he settled in the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition.

Pulling out of the parking lot behind her, Jane eased into the flow of traffic already lost in his thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

Grabbing the bags from his back seat, Jane walked up the concrete pathway to the familiar townhouse. Fetching the key from the planter, he unlocked the door and stepped inside. Contrary to what he'd told Lisbon, he hadn't just swung by a restaurant. He'd made a grocery run as well. Turning the knob to low, he stuck some of the covered silver pans in the oven to stay warm before cramming the rest of his purchases into Lisbon's refrigerator. Everything should be done by the time they were ready for them.

At the moment, he could hear the tub draining upstairs and he needed to let Lisbon know he was here. Added to that, he wanted to see her. They'd both been too busy once they returned to the office to say more than a few casual words in passing. There certainly hadn't been a spare moment to revisit their discussion. Not in public or in the confines of a more private office. He was feeling a little antsy because of that.

Heading for the stairs, Jane contemplated calling out before deciding to crash Lisbon's party instead. It wasn't like she wasn't expecting him. She'd better be since they had a date. Maybe "date" was a little strong for what they were doing. But, they had an assignation. However it turned out in the end. Stepping into the bedroom, he headed towards the bathroom. Knocking lightly on the door, he pushed it the rest of the way open before stepping inside.

"You aren't supposed to be in here." Lisbon rinsed her toothbrush and put it away shooting him a glare reminding him that her bedroom suite was now off limits. "I was just about ready to come downstairs anyway."

"I can see that." Jane took in her body hugging coral tank top and black sleep pants noting the subtle changes already apparent to him through her clothing. "I thought I'd give you some extra incentive to move a little faster."

"Yeah?" Lisbon smirked at him in the mirror. "You can try; but, that isn't happening. I've been moving fast all day. Now that I'm home, I'm taking it slow and easy."

"No problem." Jane said. "Now that I've found you, it's going to be a while before dinner is ready anyway."

"Now that you've found me?" Lisbon gave him a disbelieving look. "I wasn't lost."

"You weren't where I wanted you to be either." Jane gently corrected her. "You weren't with me."

"I still wasn't lost." Lisbon shook her head. "Sometimes you can be such a child."

"Perhaps." Jane agreed. "That doesn't change the fact I enjoy having you around."

Refusing to respond she felt the same, Lisbon couldn't stop the smile curving her lips as she watched Jane's hands encircle her waist in the mirror. She'd been mildly concerned about tonight for most of the day. She wasn't sure Jane was really as all right with everything as he'd claimed. Or that he would be after he'd had a while to mull her unexpected news. It seemed she'd worried for nothing.

Especially considering he was lifting the bottom of her tank to run his palm over the still flat planes of her stomach before halting a little below her belly button. Lisbon wasn't sure how she felt about such intimacies. They hadn't been together in a long time. They weren't together now. That being said, he shouldn't have his hand so low on her belly; but, she wasn't asking him to remove it either. He wasn't trying anything.

Just attempting to come to terms with the fact she carried his child in her body in the only way he could. It wasn't like there was much to see. Since he'd been through all of this before, he was probably imagining what rested beneath his palm. She could see the gears twisting in his mind.

"I never expected this to happen again." Jane caught her eyes in a piercing gaze. "I'm not sure I even thought it was possible. I've certainly never given anything like this any serious thought. Not even with you."

While she didn't doubt his honesty, Lisbon refused to respond to such a ridiculous statement. They were both adults. As such, they were both familiar with the most basic tenets of biology. Or they should be. Especially the one saying when you did what they'd done without benefit of protection, conception was always a possibility. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on one's perspective, their luck had run out one evening a little over two months ago.

Possibility had become reality in a handful of life altering hours.

"Yeah, if I want to be as ridiculous as you, I could say I never expected this to happen at all." Lisbon's stare was equally piercing. "Unfortunately, we're both adults, so neither of us has the right to say such a foolish thing. All we can do is _admit_ our stupidity has come back to bite us on the rear."

"It's hardly that bad." Jane corrected her. "While we may have been irresponsible, everything is going to work out in the end. We'll make sure of it."

As strange as it seemed, he was at peace knowing his child rested somewhere beneath his palm. While he probably should have been knocked on his butt by his ex-lover's blunt announcement, he wasn't. He was shocked, yes, and not all that pleased they'd created life in the midst of a friendly four letter word he'd never willingly apply to an encounter with Lisbon. But, he wasn't mad or unhappy.

Just mildly disturbed they'd done something so casually that should only be done purposefully as a tangible expression of their love.

"I'm glad one of us feels that way." Lisbon admitted. "A child isn't anything I ever thought I wanted; but, now that I'm pregnant, I wouldn't change a thing."

She wasn't about to say, "Not even the father." because, truthfully, she couldn't imagine another man filling that role. Or she couldn't now. She hadn't gotten to that point in the fantasy with Marcus. They'd both been too caught up in the moment to think so far ahead. Or maybe they'd just been confident the future would take care of itself. Who knows what she'd really been thinking back then? That chapter of her life ended as it should when Jane told her he hoped she wouldn't leave. While she hadn't necessarily felt that at the time, she realized it now.

"I'm glad to hear that." Jane took her at her word. "I wasn't sure how you really felt."

"I've already told you how I feel." Lisbon's gaze bore into him. "I wouldn't have told you I was excited if it wasn't true."

"There's a big difference between being excited and wanting your child." Jane pointed out. "They're not the same thing. You can be excited about a new puppy only to discover the responsibility isn't anything you really wanted."

"In case you need to hear the words, I want our child." Lisbon stated firmly. "That was never up for debate. If you need any further reassurance, I've had several puppies in my life. I never gave them back either."

Lisbon shook her head over Jane's very normal; but, unfounded fears. He knew what kind of woman she was. The responsibility had never concerned her; but, who the father was had.

As soon as she'd realized she was late she'd jumped to the most logical conclusion. From there, she'd contemplated her options and known only one was acceptable. As much as she dreaded telling Jane what they'd done and letting him back into her life, there wasn't any other choice. Like it or not, he'd fathered the fetus growing in her womb. He had as much right as she did to be a part of its life if he wanted.

The only question was _if_ he wanted especially considering how abruptly she'd ended things between them.

Not once but twice.

Frankly, she couldn't really blame the man if he'd wanted nothing to do with them.

"I never thought it was." Jane said quietly. "If anything was up for debate, we've already discussed that it was whether to tell me or not."

"Not telling you was never an option." Lisbon said. "This is your child, too. I've already told you I wasn't sure how to tell you…Or how you'd feel once I did…It isn't like you owe me anything."

"That I don't owe you anything doesn't change the fact I want to be with you." Jane said quietly. "That didn't suddenly change because we're pregnant. I never wanted to leave in the first place. You wanted me gone."

"I never really wanted you gone." Lisbon reluctantly admitted. "You scare me."

"Why in the world would I scare you?" Jane turned her around feeling they needed to be eye to eye for this conversation. "We've known each other forever. You know my deepest, darkest secrets." Like how it felt to kill Red John. "There's nothing about me that should make you afraid."

"Jane, honestly." Lisbon dismissed him. "You know that's not what I mean."

"I do." Jane agreed. "You're afraid of how you feel about me."

"I suppose I am." Lisbon agreed. "I thought I could handle it…."

"You can." Jane forced her to look into his eyes. "You don't have much of a choice any more. That's my kid in there and he's going to have both of his parents. Besides, you need to accept I care about you just as much as I care about him, probably more. You aren't the only one who stands to get badly hurt if this thing blows up in our faces and I'm not talking about our child. I'm talking about me."

"I'm more concerned about unintentional pain than anything intentional." Lisbon said quietly. "I know you aren't going to cheat on me or ignore me or do any of those stupid things you shouldn't. It's the crazy stunts I can't handle. The ones that could easily get you killed."

"Have I taken any unnecessary risks the past few months?" Jane asked.

"One or two." Lisbon said. "At least I thought they were unnecessary."

"Maybe they were; but, they weren't dangerous." Jane reminded her. "You know that."

"But they could have been." Lisbon clung to her point. "You know that."

"Anything we do on a case _could_ turn dangerous so that isn't a valid argument." Jane stated firmly. "It's the nature of the beast. We aren't discussing 'could have beens.' If you'll think back over the past few months since we called it quits, you'll realize I haven't taken any of my usual chances. I've let the guys and gals with the guns do the heavy work. I made you that promise the day you walked out on me. I've done everything in my power to keep my word since."

Lisbon silently mulled his words with an inscrutable face. For once, Jane had no idea what she was thinking. He was sure she could make a liar out of him if she tried hard enough. But, in his defense, he'd made a valiant effort to do as he'd promised. The rub might come when he took their differing points of view into consideration.

"Fine." Lisbon said. "I'll cut you some slack."

"That's good to know." Jane said. "Does that mean we're okay?"

"For the moment." Lisbon agreed. "This is just so weird."

"In what way?" Jane asked not thinking it was weird at all.

"I don't know." Lisbon huffed at Jane's disgusted eye roll at her evasive answer. "Mostly that I played this scenario over in my mind a thousand different ways and it never worked out like this."

"You had to know I'd be all right with this." Jane stated far calmer than she felt. "Maybe not at first; but, eventually."

"I didn't know anything." Lisbon corrected him. "We never discussed the possibility of having a child together. For all I know, you never wanted another one."

"You can't believe that." Jane said. "I'll admit I haven't given it a lot of thought. Not in any relevant way. But, you had to know, when I found that special someone, if I ever did, the idea of having what I'd lost again might hold some appeal."

Lisbon couldn't be that obtuse. She'd spent years thwarting his plans to take his nemesis out in a blaze of glory forcing him to survive instead. She had to know he'd heal at some point and want to live again. She'd probably intended to make him although he was positive she didn't have the first clue how to go about accomplishing such a difficult task. The answer had proven deceptively simple in the end.

All she had to do was love him and let him love her back.

"I didn't know you'd found that special someone." Lisbon ignored his insulted snort.

"Then you're more of a fool than I'd ever take you for." Jane stated firmly. "While I'm excited at the prospect of becoming a father again…The fact I'm doing it with you is what makes the whole idea palatable…I'm not sure I'd want to do this with anyone else."

"You would if you loved her." Lisbon said quietly. "You're a familial man."

"Familial or not, I don't love the mythical "her" so it's all a moot point." Jane said quietly. "I'm not sure I ever could. I do, however, love you."

"Yeah?" Lisbon pulled back to look in his eyes. "You mean that?"

"Yes." Jane agreed. "Very much."

"That's nice." Lisbon reluctantly admitted. "I love you, too."

"I know." Jane told her. "I've known for a long time."

"I guess you have." Truthfully, so had she. They'd just not been vocal about it. In fact, neither of them had said the words over the course of their relationship. It hadn't seemed necessary. They'd shown each other in so many other ways. "You aren't supposed to know me better than I know myself."

"Why?" Jane asked. "It's in my job description."

"Yeah, well, leave your job description at the office with the rest of our work." Lisbon snarked. "A girl needs to have a little mystery."

"You still have plenty of mystery." Jane promised. "More than enough to keep a man on his toes."

"Good." Lisbon leaned into his kiss. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Catching up on the nine weeks of my child's life that I've missed." Jane said as he pulled her tank over her head. "It's not like you aren't adequately covered."

Nodding, Lisbon gave in deciding she owed him that much and he did have a point. He wasn't seeing anything he hadn't seen many times before. Besides, it wasn't like she wasn't still wearing her bra and pants. More than that, she'd had a couple of months to come to terms with the reality their child was growing in her womb. He'd had a few hours. She owed him this much.

"I'd say you've gained about a pound if I don't miss my guess." Jane smirked knowing Lisbon hated how he did that when it applied to her. "And you're getting tired more frequently." He continued lightly caressing her shoulder as he noted the answer in her eyes. "Don't worry. I can see it around your eyes; but, no one else can. It's normal and it should pass as soon as your body gets used to functioning for two. Once it does, you won't have to worry about the extreme fatigue until you get closer to the end."

"That's what my doctor says." Lisbon watched his hand moving down her side to run lightly over her stomach in an innocuous manner. "I'm taking him at his word."

"He's not lying to you." Jane agreed. "I'm assuming the nausea is manageable since your weight is staying pretty steady."

"Not too bad." Lisbon answered honestly. "Fortunately, it usually hits at night after I'm home for the evening. Sometimes a random smell will trigger it. Honestly, I'm doing better than I expected. "

"Good." Jane nodded. "I have noticed you're having headaches you never used to have."

"Sometimes." Lisbon admitted. "When there's a lot of stress. They aren't too bad though. From what the doctor says, I'm fine. The baby is, too, so I can't complain.

The good part is even though I'm small there isn't any reason anyone should think I'm pregnant for a while yet. My mom was small and she didn't show with any of my brothers until she was pretty far along. I'm hoping genetics hold true."

"You may be correct." Jane agreed knowing they could both be wrong since small women frequently showed faster than women with more body fat. "I wouldn't know if you hadn't told me so I'd say no one else will know for a while."

"That's good, right?" Lisbon asked. "We don't want anyone knowing before we're ready."

"It isn't a secret, Teresa." Jane said running his hand over her still mostly flat belly. "Not as far as I'm concerned. If you want to tell the world, tell them. If you'd rather wait until people figure it out, I'm fine with that too. The choice is yours."

"You really don't care?" Lisbon searched his eyes. "I don't believe that."

"Believe it." Jane said. "It's nobody's business but ours."

"I'm not sure Abbott and the FBI will feel the same." Lisbon gently reminded him. "We both work for them."

"Who cares about them?" Jane dismissed her concerns as he lifted her to sit on the counter. "That kid belongs to you and me, not Abbott, Fischer, or the FBI."

"We'll see how long you feel that way." Lisbon laughed knowing it wasn't going to be all smooth sailing at work even if Jane wanted to pretend it was. "I'm sure Abbott, Fischer, nor the FBI will see things quite your way."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Jane lifted her tank from the counter. "What do you say to putting this on and getting something to eat?"

"I'd say that sounds like a plan." Lisbon leaned up to plant a kiss at the corner of his lips before shrugging into her shirt and walking out the door. "We can continue this conversation later."

Following Lisbon's lead, Jane smiled slightly at the thought all of this was going much better than he'd anticipated but he wasn't pushing his luck.

Not yet.

With careful thought and a lot of grace, he'd have Lisbon back where he wanted her before the night was over.


	8. Chapter 8

To my guest, Louise: Thank you for your review and for your question. I appreciate both. I love Lisbon and Jane and I love them together. However, I write everything from fluffier romance to very rough pieces like _Settling the Score_ (a Volker Fic). I also always have a happy ending although it may take a while to get there. This particular story begins on a harsher note and stays that way for a while although things do get better. I normally post A/N's and warnings on my darker stories so you know what you're getting into.

If you want Post-Bluebird on a lighter note, I have two others in the works: _From This Point_ _On_ and _From a Different Perspective_. You might also like a couple of older stories: _Ouroboros_ or _A Tilted World _which are pre-Season Six. These are all more straight forward romances and much gentler pieces. Since you've never read me before, I'd say this fanfic probably isn't the best first time read. It's the least like anything I've ever written in style, tone, etc.

To my other guest: Thank you for the review and for enjoying the story so far. That means a lot to me. ~Calla

#

Ambling into the kitchen from her seat at the breakfast bar to root through the refrigerator for something to drink, Lisbon watched Jane making himself at home as he always had. He'd been much too comfortable in her place almost from the start. He'd been the same way in Sacramento. She'd never really minded until he pretended it was his place and did something she didn't like as he'd done a couple of times over the years. But, she wasn't going there. She'd get mad all over again. However, changing the color of her kitchen without her consent five years ago had not been an acceptable birthday present and she'd told him so.

Even if she had liked what he'd had done and kept it.

Settling for pouring a glass of the decaffeinated Raspberry Tea Jane had brought, she leaned against the counter to watch him work. It wasn't like he was really cooking. He wasn't. More like grabbing foil pans from the shelf, checking them, and shoving them back in the oven. By the looks of the packaging, she knew exactly where he'd been and her mouth was already watering from the smells. However, as eagerly as she was anticipating Mama Ramona's offering, a part of her was intensely disappointed Jane had chosen expediency over preparing their meal although she understood his reasoning.

For one thing, they were getting a later start on their evening. For another, cooking was something they'd taken great joy in doing together. In fact, they'd often taken turns cooking preferring the quiet intimacy of being together to the potential risks of going out and getting busted. They hadn't wanted to confirm what they'd expended a good deal of energy keeping private.

Namely the fact they were now involved like _that_.

It wasn't that anyone would have said anything about them dating on a professional level. It was more the nature of their relationship was nobody's business but their own. They'd wanted to keep it that way, especially her. That sudden breakup with Pike had added fuel to the whispers surrounding them for years. Fortunately, there'd never been any proof to back up the idle words and neither of them had really wanted to give it.

Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do about that now.

Walking back to the fridge, Lisbon grabbed a container of Hummus and the vegetables she'd sliced up last night. As much as she'd rather be grazing on chips and dip or crackers and cheese accompanied by a hearty glass of wine, she'd changed her eating habits to more appropriate faire soon after discovering she was pregnant.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes so don't eat too much." Jane commented as he walked over to swipe a slice of orange bell pepper. "You won't be hungry if you do."

"I don't think you have to worry about that." Lisbon popped a piece of broccoli in her mouth. "I'm hungry all the time. I'm probably going to be as big as a house before this kid is born."

"Not happening." Jane said. "You might want to eat all the time; but, you won't. You're too disciplined to do anything but follow your doctor's orders. I can assure you getting as big as a house isn't on them."

"No, it isn't." Lisbon agreed returning her snack to the refrigerator instead of smacking Jane for always being right. "Is that roasted turkey breast?"

"Since we had that nasty case over Thanksgiving, neither of us got to celebrate." Jane said quietly. "It's a few months late; but, I thought you might enjoy doing that so we have turkey and all the fixings."

"You do know there's nothing remotely healthy about Ramona's country cooking don't you?" Lisbon reminded him. "And the woman has turkey on the menu all the time so there's nothing special about that either." Nothing except she hadn't had any since Thanksgiving before last and Jane knew it. "I thought you said something about eating better."

"I did." Jane said. "That's why I stopped by the grocery store as well. We'll start tomorrow. But tonight we're going to enjoy being sinfully decadent."

"I can do that." Lisbon agreed eyeballing the container in the refrigerator she knew contained whatever Jane had brought for dessert. "There better be pie in there." She stated firmly. "It isn't Thanksgiving without pie."

Lisbon couldn't believe what she'd just said. It still wasn't Thanksgiving if they had pie. But, she was having fun pretending with Jane.

"What do you think?" Jane's look said he knew her well. "There's pie and cake in there."

He didn't have to say there was a lot of it as the size of that box spoke for itself.

"Smart boy." Lisbon closed the refrigerator door before patting his cheek condescendingly.

Ignoring the look conveying how much he appreciated her gesture, Lisbon reached up in the cabinet to grab a couple of plates. From the way Jane had suddenly turned his attention from her to pulling those foil pans from the oven, she'd say dinner was finally heated. While she knew there was a turkey breast and dressing in one of those pans, she wasn't sure what else he had to offer. Sweet potatoes, some kind of vegetables, and macaroni and cheese were all good guesses although she'd have to wait to see. So were Chicken Fried Steak and homemade mashed potatoes slathered in peppered milk gravy. Few people escaped Ramona's without sampling her CFS and she never did. The woman was determined to fatten her up. She'd taken it as a personal challenge. However, it was a battle she'd always lost until now. Lisbon smirked to herself. The restauranteur was going to be so mad.

She was going to fatten up on her own and it had nothing to do with Ramona's sinful country cooking.

#

Walking into her kitchen empty plates in hand, Lisbon quickly stuffed the china into the dishwasher praying for a couple of Jane free minutes to get her rampant feelings in check. Eating dinner curled up on her couch with the television playing softly in the background was too much like old times. Too reminiscent of idyllic early days when Jane was on his best behavior and she was still reeling they were finally a couple. Although Jane had fed her pie and cake back then too, just not sweet potato pie and apple spice cake, circumstances had radically changed in the last few months. She still wasn't sure how she felt about that.

What she was sure of was that Jane wasn't steam rolling his way back into her life just because there was a baby between them. And she wasn't shutting him out by any means. She just wasn't saying they were suddenly picking things up where they'd left off either. It would take one hell of a song and dance for Jane to pull that off.

She wasn't sure even he could do it although from the way he was acting he was definitely going to try.

Washing her hands, Lisbon turned from the sink mildly surprised to find herself chest to chest with Jane. Watching him leaning in to kiss her, she put a restraining palm on his chest. It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss him. She did…probably more than anything.

She just didn't think it was wise.

"We aren't just falling into bed because I'm pregnant." Lisbon stated firmly staring him down as only she could do. "That's what got us into trouble in the first place."

"Perhaps." Jane agreed. "But you can't get pregnant again."

"Maybe I can't; but, that doesn't make it right." Lisbon continued staring him down. "While I won't deny you the right to be a father or the fact I love you, we aren't pretending everything's perfect or that we're just another happy couple with a bun in the oven. It isn't and we aren't. Not yet. Just because we've been intimate and made a baby since we called it quits doesn't mean there aren't still things to work out."

Things sleeping with him again would only complicate.

"Like what?" Jane said. "From where I sit, everything seems pretty simple. We love each other, we get along well, we're physically compatible, and we're having a baby. I don't see how we can get more together than that. Whether you're ready to admit it or not, I'm going to be an integral part of your life until this child is grown. There's nothing you can do to change that. So, why not accept what you can't change and give us one last chance? See what happens? We might surprise you."

Jane wanted to say, 'Get over your ridiculous issues and fears. You did it for Pike. You can do it for me.' While he might think such things, those words would never pass his lips. Truthfully, unlike Marcus Pike who'd never done anything to shatter Lisbon's confidence in him; he'd done the exact opposite and given her plenty of reasons for thought. While Pike had been the doting, attentive, dependable "good man," he'd done more than his fair share of letting Lisbon down, ditching her, and outright abandoning her for more years than she should have hung around.

Try like all the way back to when they'd first started working together. Hell, he'd fallen off the map after a decade for two whole years before suddenly dragging her back into his life again. Oh, he'd stayed in touch by letter; but, that was as good as it got. He certainly hadn't told her how he felt. That she'd been in his thoughts for more hours of every day than she should have been. It didn't matter there'd been no direct person to person contact between them in all that time and he hadn't known if there ever could be.

Not until Fischer and Abbott had given him a way out.

So, taking all of that into account, he couldn't really blame the mother of his child for having serious doubts about "them" becoming a forever "us". He wasn't sure he'd take the gamble if he was her. Even if his determination to make it work had nothing to with the child he'd so recently sired and everything to do with the woman herself. He'd never truly let her go all those months ago and she knew it.

He just hadn't put up a very visible fight.

He had, however, kept other interested parties at bay. Lisbon would bury him six feet under if she ever got conclusive proof of that. However, he doubted anyone would tell her. He wasn't a pleasant man to cross and leaking his secrets would be the ultimate treason in the Kingdom of Jane. That was enough to stay most would be mischief makers.

"Fine, we'll do it your way and see what happens." Lisbon capitulated deciding he was doing better at that whole song and dance than she'd anticipated. Or maybe she was just tired of fighting her feelings when she knew she was going to lose the battle in the end. While she might be able to pretend loving each other wasn't enough, she couldn't deny the child in her womb was a serious game changer and Jane knew it. "But, you aren't moving in here and I'm not moving into that tin can you call home." She snapped realizing while she should, that she didn't want to argue anymore. "I need to have my head examined for even saying that."

"That tin can is where this kid was conceived if I remember correctly." Jane pointed out. "As I recall, we'd swung by my place so I could grab a few things and spend the night at your place on the couch. As I also recall as well, we never got that far. You jumped me as soon as we got through the door."

"None of that matters." Lisbon said. "Can you imagine trying to move around in that thing when I'm as big as whale? I rest my case. But, you can stay over some if you'd like." She continued as though he hadn't interrupted. "I'd probably like that. We'll have to see how it goes. Oh, and I'm not marrying you so don't even go there. Not any time soon anyway and maybe never. Not unless it's something we both want. I don't want you to feel like it's something we have to do. It isn't."

"I haven't asked." Jane gently reminded her mildly surprised she'd gone there. "I honestly haven't gotten that far in my thought processes."

They both knew he was lying through his teeth. He was already fast at work figuring out the best way to do just that and Lisbon was already fast at work making a list of counter arguments why the status quo was fine for the moment. They both already knew she was going to fail abysmally. But, she wasn't going down without a fight. It didn't matter she really wanted that ring on her finger, too.

That whole fiasco with Pike had awakened a desire deep inside her she didn't know was there. Enough so he'd put out generalized feelers to gauge how she felt about the idea back when things were going well between them. Surprisingly, Lisbon had let him know in equally general terms she'd entertain the idea when the time was right. Jane suspected that was why she'd gotten so angry with him over his major faux pas. She'd allowed herself to believe they'd have that happily ever after she hadn't known she wanted.

Then he'd gone and messed it up.

"But you will." Lisbon called him on his fib. "You're that kind of man."

"I suppose I am." Jane agreed deciding to come clean. "It does sound like something I'd do doesn't it? Actually _want_ to marry the mother of my child and the woman I love. It doesn't really make sense does it? Not unless I'm _forced_ into it. Right."

He couldn't keep the hint of amusement out of his voice. They were both creating problems where there weren't any. They always had and that wasn't likely to change.

Since Lisbon hadn't totally squashed the idea of getting hitched, he could afford to leave things alone for now. It wasn't costing him anything at the moment. Maybe later, when he'd convinced her they were meant to be together, he'd finally slip that band on her finger. At the moment, the child in her womb was enough of a ring through her nose to ensure his woman wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

As brave a front as she was putting on, Lisbon was a lousy liar.

While she wasn't afraid, and she knew she was more than capable of raising a child on her own, he knew she didn't want to go that whole alone route. She didn't want to buy into the single Mom concept if she didn't have to. It went against everything she believed in where her life was concerned.

He wasn't too crazy about the idea himself.

"So, given what you just said, does that mean I can do this again?" Jane asked leaning in for another kiss. "And you won't try to stop me?"

"I don't think I can stop you." Lisbon admitted accepting his kiss. "Not when I think maybe I was wrong for suggesting we stop seeing each other in the first place."

She wouldn't have gotten pregnant if they hadn't. They'd been nothing but circumspect the whole time they were together. Neither of them had wanted this to happen. Of course, the fact they were no longer together wasn't any reason to get sloppy. That was plain stupidity on her part. And Jane's if he was as willing to accept partial blame as he seemed to be.

Contrary to what Jane seemed to think, the whole Roxton case had been a convenient excuse to make a pass at him. She hadn't been all that torn up by shooting the kid. He'd already wounded two officers and was prepared to shoot a few more including her. While she'd hated ending a life so young, he'd made the choice to point that assault rifle in her direction instead of dropping it as she'd told him to do.

"You weren't wrong in breaking up with me initially." Jane said quietly. "I mishandled that undercover case from the start. I should have refused to do it unless I told you. I knew you'd be upset I'd taken the case so I didn't. I put you through hell and you had a right to be as angry as you were."

"Yes, I did." Lisbon agreed. "You have no idea how I felt every time we found another body. I could never be sure it wasn't you until we got to the crime scene and waded through the blood. We still weren't sure you were going to get out of there alive until you did.

You do know you were in so deep there was nothing anyone could have done to stop them if they'd wanted to kill you?"

"I do now." Jane agreed. "I don't think I realized quite what I was getting myself into before it was too late and I was already there."

"I'm glad to hear you finally admit that." Lisbon said. "I wasn't sure some dormant part of you wasn't still harboring a death wish."

"You know better than that." Jane glared at her. "I haven't wanted to die for a long time. I certainly wouldn't have gotten involved with you if I did."

"I do know that." Lisbon apologized. "That case was just the worst one I've ever worked and you were lost in the middle of it and I wasn't sure you were getting out with your head on your shoulders."

"I'm sorry for putting you through that." Jane said realizing he'd never apologized only tried to justify his actions. "I shouldn't have done it."

"No, you shouldn't have." Lisbon agreed. "I forgave you anyway."

"Yes, you did, and you probably shouldn't have." Which only made it that much more difficult to understand when she refused to forgive him for a sin that wasn't nearly as egregious. "But you didn't forgive me when you should have. I didn't deliberately get myself winged, Teresa. I thought you were in the line of fire and I wasn't letting you get shot. I miscalculated my next move and it backfired on me. I tried to tell you what really happened. You wouldn't listen no matter how hard I tried to get you to. You were wrong in that. I finally decided it was better to let you figure your mess out on your own than try to dissuade you."

"I don't think the messes matter anymore." Lisbon said quietly. "I think we need to do our best to let it all go and start over for the baby's sake."

"I think you're right if you're willing to do that." Jane agreed. "The past is over. We have to deal with the present."

"Yes, we do." Lisbon agreed. "And I think doing it in there would be more comfortable than standing here in the middle of my kitchen."

Taking Jane by the hand, she led him back to the couch.

"So you think we can make it?" Lisbon continued as she sank into the couch.

"I know we can." Jane spoke confidently.

"Why?" Lisbon asked. "Because of this?"

She rested her hand on her still flat belly.

"Yes, because of him, and no, because we're us." Jane's tone was non-confrontational so Lisbon decided to let the whole "him" slip up pass for the moment. It wasn't necessary to remind him that it was much too early to know the sex of their child. Nor would continually calling their baby a male ensure he'd get the son he so obviously wanted. "Our relationship has survived everything we've thrown at it over the years, even this. Why wouldn't I believe we can make it? We always have."

"You wouldn't." Lisbon said. "Then you want to give it another try?"

"I've already said that." Jane repeated. "Actually, what I think I said is I never wanted to break up in the first place."

"I seem to remember you saying that a few times." Lisbon agreed not really minding the broken record act since he was repeatedly driving home what she'd tried so hard to ignore over the past few months. "Then I think we should see what happens."

"Because of the baby?" Jane asked quietly. "You might as well be honest."

"Partly." Lisbon admitted. "Mainly because I've missed you and what we had a whole lot more than I thought I would."

"Good answer." Jane was clearly pleased with her response. "I've missed you, too."

"So, it's as simple as that?" Lisbon asked. "We're a couple again?"

"It isn't simple at all." Jane corrected her. "But, we already know it's doable. Why don't you start by coming over here?"

Leaning against the arm of the couch, he helped Lisbon settle into one of her favorite positions with her back against his chest. They'd lain exactly like this numerous times in the past watching her favorite movies and television shows. Leaning forward to kiss her hair, Jane draped his arm over her body with his palm resting protectively against her belly. Feeling Lisbon's hand coming to rest gently over his as the tension left her body, Jane felt contentment blossom upon realizing she'd accepted such a revealing gesture with ease. Satisfied everything was falling into place as they both apparently wanted, Jane allowed his eyes to drift closed and a contented smile to curve his lips.

They could concern themselves with what came next later.

At the moment, it seemed all either of them was really interested in was savoring this quiet moment between them.


	9. Chapter 9

Dragging a brush through her hair, Lisbon glanced at her freshly scrubbed face deciding she would do. It wouldn't be the first time Jane had seen her without make-up and it wouldn't be the last. That's if he was even still downstairs. She'd drastically overslept by her clock. It was nearly nine o'clock. Thank goodness they weren't on call today or they'd have been late for work. Well, she would be anyway. Unless Jane had awakened her which she trusted he would have done. Shrugging her shoulders, Lisbon tossed her brush on the counter and walked into the bedroom to make her bed.

The same bed Jane had shared with her last night although nothing untoward had happened. Not a thing beyond the man clinging to her like he was never letting go. He probably hadn't. Not until he'd decided to let her sleep though he was getting up.

Taking one last look at her reflection in the dresser mirror, Lisbon tucked a wild strand of hair behind her ear. She was wearing her favorite sleep jersey and saw no reason to change. She wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Not unless you counted downstairs to make a cup of coffee and grab some spice cake from that box in the fridge a serious change of scenery.

Taking the steps two at a time, Lisbon was shocked to suddenly find herself face to face with Jane as he came around the corner. Apparently, he _hadn't_ left. He'd been hanging out in her guest bathroom instead. Feeling hands steadying her, Lisbon stepped back and gave Jane a knowing smirk. She was a complete idiot to have thought he'd leave. While slinking off in the dead of night would be classic Jane, disappearing into the shadows when he was winning the game wasn't.

"There better be coffee in there." Lisbon nodded in the direction of her kitchen. "And that last piece of spice cake."

"There is," Jane said. "And I didn't touch it."

Well, maybe he had snuck a fingertip of cream cheese icing; but, hopefully, Lisbon wouldn't know if he didn't tell her.

"Good." Stepping into the kitchen, Lisbon poured a cup of steaming coffee in the mug Jane had left waiting on the counter top before delving in the refrigerator to grab the dessert box. Opening the lid, she scooped the treasures slice of cake onto a saucer. One Jane had been kind enough to leave on the counter with the accompanying fork. Closing the lid and putting the box back in the refrigerator, she fixed the not-so-innocent male hanging out with a pointed look. "You didn't touch it, huh? I'd say you stole a pretty good sized chunk of icing smack off the top."

"Why would you say that?" Jane asked heading for the breakfast bar and his rapidly cooling cup of tea. "I had pie instead."

"Yeah?" Lisbon carried her cup and plate over to sit beside him. "You do know playing the old if-I-don't-cop-to-it-it-never-happened card doesn't really work with me, don't you?"

"I know no such thing." Jane said before taking a sip of tea and deciding it was perfectly fine. "I'm certainly not admitting to something I didn't do."

"Whatever." Lisbon reached for the files spread across her counter silently railing against having work to do on their weekend off. "For the record, you need to know I will hurt you if you tamper with my dessert again. This kid of yours has quite the sweet tooth."

"Don't pass your bad habits off on my kid." Jane said quietly. "You've always liked things that were bad for you."

"Like you?" Lisbon blinked innocently at him.

"Perhaps." Jane surrendered that point. "But, that isn't what I meant and you know it."

Giving him a conciliatory peck, Lisbon rested her cheek against his for a moment before settling back in her chair.

"Yeah, well, I like cake even more now." Lisbon smirked at him as she messily carried the last icing laden chunk to her mouth and licked the sugary perfection from her fingertips. "That's so good."

Watching her antics in mild disgust, Jane could only shake his head in defeat. "I hope you don't teach our son to eat like that."

"Why not?" Lisbon asked. "Sometimes it's fun to play with your food."

"It's disgusting." Jane corrected her. "It's even worse when it's a kid doing it. They're ten times messier."

Visions of wiping chocolate smears from chubby cheeks flashed through his mind.

"You never seemed to mind when I was feeding you." Lisbon reminded him. "In fact, if I remember correctly, you enjoyed it."

"Yes, well, that was different." Jane answered as she expected. "That was foreplay."

It was usually delicious foreplay at that.

"Honestly, you're too much." Lisbon clicked her tongue and shook her head as she reached out to grab an open file. "Find anything of interest in here?"

"Not really." Jane said. "I'm not all that fascinated by work at the moment."

"Neither am I." Lisbon closed the file and laid it aside before giving him a much too serious look. "You do realize this is going to be an unholy mess when it comes out?" She ran her hand over her belly. "I still can't believe I let this happen."

"We both let it happen so you might as well stop beating yourself up." Jane reminded her. "I'm certainly not." He continued. "Besides, it won't be as bad as you're making it sound. Not for a good while anyway."

"Not until I start to seriously show." Lisbon stated. "I'm not sure that's too far off."

Just because she was still flat as a fritter didn't mean she wouldn't wake up in a couple of weeks with notable baby pooch. She'd seen that happen before. She couldn't imagine a worse experience at the moment.

To be plain Lisbon one day and _pregnant_ Lisbon the next…People would treat her so different starting with Abbot.

She did not want to think about that.

"Long enough to give us time to get used to the idea." Jane stated firmly halting movements that were quickly veering towards frantic. "Lisbon, concentrate on the present. On making sure we get the "us" worked out. That's the most important thing at the moment for you and our baby."

"I guess it is." Lisbon agreed. "I'm glad one of us is keeping his head on straight."

She'd been doing that fine until yesterday…Until she'd shared her secret with Jane...Then, the flood gates had suddenly burst wide open and her repressed fears had poured into the light of day.

"The future will take care of itself." Jane reassured her. "Nobody knows we were seeing each other before or that you're pregnant now. They won't know unless you panic and tell them. Not for a good while yet."

"No, they won't." Lisbon agreed. "By then they'll know we're together."

"I'm sure they will." Jane said. "I don't intend to hide our relationship forever even if that's your plan."

"I hadn't thought that far ahead." Lisbon echoed his words about marriage. "I always figured it wasn't anyone's business unless something big happened between us."

"Something big has happened between us." Jane gently reminded her wondering if Lisbon realized she'd confessed in a roundabout way she'd at least fantasized about marrying him. "Just not the something big we were both considering."

Yes, he knew he'd just admitted he _had_ thought about marrying her belying his earlier words.

"I'd say not." The thought of getting pregnant by anyone, much less Jane, had never really crossed her mind.

"Eventually you will start to show and there will be talk. We already know that. There have always been meaningless whispers and always will be." Jane continued. "You do know you don't have to tell anyone what really happened if you don't want to? It's none of their business."

"We work in Law Enforcement." Lisbon stated. "Our co-workers aren't taking "noneya" for an answer when that extra few pounds becomes unmistakably baby belly." She didn't need to remind him of Cho. "Everyone's going to want to know who knocked me up. What am I suppose to do? Refuse to name the baby's father like some Hollywood starlet fooling around with her married co-star?"

Lisbon blinked at him not believing she'd just uttered that cheesy remark.

"As far as I'm concerned, you can tell them we got together on the down low a while back and we got sloppy." Jane said quietly. "Or you can tell them you've been entertaining the thought of having a child for a while since that whole thing with Pike went south. That getting seriously involved made you start longing for what you'd never had. It's not that out there considering you aren't getting any younger." Jane ignored the malevolent look Lisbon shot him. "For all I care, you can say you asked me to help you procreate the old fashioned way rather than going to one of those sterile fertility clinics. It's not that impossible I'd accept your offer." Jane ignored the choking noises Lisbon was making. "You're a beautiful woman. I'm a very normal man. We've been close for years. Why wouldn't I want to sleep with you if the opportunity presented itself? From what I remember, it did and I did and I'll do it again when you're ready." Jane gently reminded her. "Tell them whatever you please. It won't change a thing."

"Like anyone's going to believe I did something as insane as asking you to be my glorified sperm donor because my biological clock is ticking down." Lisbon snorted. "I don't even believe that cockamamie story and I heard you say the words. That's so not me."

"No, it isn't; but, it doesn't matter whether anyone really believes your story or not." Jane said quietly. "The important thing is they can't prove it either way. They'll have to accept whatever you say at face value or look like a bunch of fools."

"You do have a point there." Lisbon agreed. "Even better, we aren't trying to deny you're the father."

"I can live with that." Jane pronounced still not sure what she was ultimately going to do. "However, I think you need to understand this isn't anything I want to hide. In fact, if you have to say anything, why not just tell the truth? We've had an intimate relationship for a while, we got careless, and we got caught. If it makes you feel any better, feel free to tell the persistently nosey we got carried away in the heat of the moment and a truly wonderful thing happened. That should shut them up for a while."

"Wow." Lisbon said. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"How many different ways do I have to say it for you to get the point?" Jane asked. "Now that I've had time to get over the surprise, it is pretty wonderful don't you think?"

"Yes, I do." Lisbon agreed. "Pretty wonderful."

"Think about it." Jane continued. "We're just two ordinary people living very ordinary lives. Granted, our careers are a little extraordinary; but, in the big scheme of things we're just Teresa Lisbon and Patrick Jane. End of story.

Did you ever expect to be able to say that?

No MacAllister hiding in the wings any longer, The Blake Association is still in hiding, and it's no one's business how this child came into being. With that in mind, don't address any personal issues unless you want to. Otherwise, ignore the speculation. It can't hurt either of us unless you let it."

"I won't." Lisbon promised. "I will tell you my brothers aren't going to be too happy with either of us when they get the news; but, they'll get over it."

"Yes, they will." Jane said with more confidence than he felt. "They don't really have a choice do they?"

"No, they don't." Lisbon agreed. "But, they'll make your life hell until they figure that out."

"We could head all of that off at the pass if you'd cooperate." Jane suggested. "The solution is simple and staring us in the face."

"How do you figure that?" Lisbon asked already knowing what he was going to say.

"We've already discussed it." Jane said quietly reopening the subject she'd considered closed. "We go ahead and do the deed. We get married without telling anyone and we do it soon. By the time anyone figures out your expanding waist line is more than too much closed case pizza and beer, we'll already have rings on our fingers."

"That won't stop the talk." Lisbon reminded him. "They'll just say we got married because we got caught."

"Yeah, well, what do they know?" Jane asked. "If we do get married, it'll be because we want to. Not because that's my kid in there." Jane lightly stroked her belly. "We both know that. It's just how we're wired. Besides, they're all a bunch of hypocrites anyway."

"Not everyone." Lisbon gently rebuked his observation. "Some people will be happy for us. The rest of them are just plain nasty and can't help being rude. Some people like Cho will just think we've finally lost our minds."

Lisbon could already see Cho's face in her mind. To say he'd be shocked was an understatement. But, it wouldn't last. He'd be stoic Uncle Cho in a heartbeat. She was sure of it.

"Yeah, well, if Liebowitz gives you any trouble, remind her it's tacky to sleep with one's partner when he has a pregnant wife at home. Particularly when you know he has no intention of leaving his wife and you don't want him to. That it's all just fun and games to blow off a little steam while his wife is too uncomfortable to fulfill her wifely duties." Jane's tone conveyed exactly what he thought of that arrangement and the potential to hurt Peggy if she ever found out. "Henson's slipping around behind Dorothea's back with Angelli in Cybercrimes as well. I believe those two will probably be the biggest instigators of any water cooler talk. If I miss my guess, let me know. I'm sure I can get you any ammo you need to halt the rumor mill."

"I'm sure you can." Lisbon agreed. "But, I don't want to know any of that so don't. I don't even want to know how you get your info. It's too much."

The look in Jane's eyes let Lisbon know, that while he wouldn't push the point, he would do what she wouldn't if push came to shove.

"Nothing underhand I can assure you." Jane said. "If you know when and where to look, you'd be amazed at what you can see by being observant."

"I'll take you word for it." Lisbon opened the file again and perused the first couple of lines. "There really isn't much here is there?"

"No, there isn't." Jane agreed dismissing the bare bones report. "You know, if you hadn't walked on me a few months back, we'd probably have gotten to this point by now anyway. The idea was always in the back of my mind even if it wasn't in yours. The only difference is I think the kid would have come a year or two down the road when we'd had a chance to enjoy each other. Or maybe it wouldn't have come at all. Having a child is a decision we should have made together."

"Are you serious?" Lisbon asked. "You are, aren't you?"

"Perfectly." Jane agreed. "That you're pregnant doesn't affect my intent either way. What it does affect is timing and your willingness to entertain the idea. What do you say, Teresa? You want to get hitched and nip the gossip in the bud? The worst anyone can say is we got married because we got caught. What do they know?"'

They'd already discussed that, too.

"Do I want to get hitched and nip the gossip in the bud?" Lisbon asked. "While I could say, "Are you kidding me," I think I'd rather ask if you'd give me a little while to think about it."

"Take all the time you need." Jane agreed. "Maybe you'll get a decent proposal before we're done."

"I'm not sure you can get any better than 'do you want to get hitched and nip the gossip in the bud.'" Lisbon smirked. "That's rather original."

"I can get a whole lot better." Jane said. "And this is hardly where we need to be doing this."

"Oh, I'd say sitting at my kitchen counter with a file in hand is the perfect place." Lisbon contradicted. "Almost every significant thing we've ever done has been in the midst of a case. Why should a proposal be any different? Why don't you try it again and see what happens?"

"I can do that." Jane's eyebrow rose wondering if she was about to do what he thought she was. "Teresa Lisbon, will you marry me?"

"Yeah, Jane, I think I will." Lisbon smirked back at him. "You'll only hound me until I do."

"Yes, I probably will." Jane leaned in to wipe the smirk off her face in the best possible way by pressing his lips against hers. "Well, I'd say all that's left to do is buy the rings, get the license, and do the deed."

"There's a little more than that." Lisbon gently reminded him. "There's still a nursery to plan and a kid to raise."

"Compared to getting a ring on your finger, all of that's a piece of cake." Jane reminded her. "Besides, I've planned a nursery and raised a kid so I'd say it comes with the territory. Neither is all that hard compared to some of the other things we've done."

"Well, I haven't." Lisbon reminded him. "I don't have a clue where to start."

"We start with the spare bedroom across the hall." Jane said. "But, we'll do that after we have the ceremony. There's no need to stress over any of it. We have plenty of time to pick and choose. It isn't like he's going to care anyway."

Rolling her eyes, Lisbon hoped their child was a girl just to frustrate Jane.

"I will." Lisbon huffed at having their nursery dismissed so casually. "I suppose this means you'll be moving in."

"Not until after we're married." Jane corrected her. "We'll keep things circumspect."

"Right." Lisbon snorted. "I'm already pregnant."

"Nobody knows." Jane gently reminded her. "By the time they do, we'll be married. See, nice and circumspect."

"Only you could see our situation that way." Lisbon observed. "Sometimes I think you live in your own little world with your own little rules."

"Maybe I do." Jane said. "But, I can assure you it's a much nicer place when you're in it."

"Is it now?" Lisbon didn't resist as Jane pulled her to her feet and pulled her close.

"Yes, it is." Jane agreed wrapping her arms around his neck. "I can also say, now that you're here again, I won't be letting you go."

"I won't be asking you to." Lisbon leaned in to give him a kiss.

"That's nice to know." Jane agreed as he pulled her a little closer. "I wouldn't if you did."

"I know." Lisbon kissed the tip of his nose. "Now that you've gotten what you wanted, what are we doing the rest of the day?"

"What do you say to picking out a couple of rings?" Jane asked honestly. "I know just the place."

"We can do that." Lisbon responded far calmer than she felt.

"Then that's what we'll do." Jane said. "Finish your coffee, get dressed, and we'll hit the road. I know just the place. It'll take us a couple of hours to get there."

Hopefully it was a light traffic day which he couldn't guarantee.

"Somehow I think you do." Lisbon lifted her mug to her lips. "We're going to San Antonio aren't we?"

"It's a nice place to visit." Jane said. "We can make a day of it and take in the sights after we finish our business."

"Sounds like fun." From the look on her face, Lisbon was already figuring out which shoes to wear. "Give me a quarter hour and I'll be ready."

"I'll be here." Jane said as he reached for the file deciding he might as well pretend to work.

"Pack all of that." Lisbon kissed his cheek and motioned to the files. "I'll read through everything and we can discuss it on the drive down. That way we can tell Abbott we worked all weekend."

"Sounds like a plan." Jane said briefly. "Get dressed so we can go."

He pointed towards the stairs.

"I'm going." Lisbon groused as she all but skipped away.

Shaking his head as he watched her go, Jane wondered briefly what he was getting himself into. Nothing he didn't want…more than anything.


	10. AN

A/N: This isn't another chapter so I apologize for the inconvenience.

There are one or two things I want to address by saying if you enjoy my stories, thank you with all of my heart. If you don't, then I'm not for you. It's as simple as that which is the way it should be.

Lisa, I appreciate your point and I respect you for telling me. Unfortunately, I doubt what you don't like will change. My love of details in my fanfic is largely because I can do so little of it in my real life writing and I need to taste, feel, and see what I'm writing about for a change.

I honestly wish I could say my fanfics are where I'm trying to improve my writing skills. I can't. I've been writing for a very long time. My fanfics are where I escape from my "real" writing with all the guidelines, rules, and formulas I have to follow. It's where I let the good, the bad, and the ugly hang out because I have that freedom.

It's where I write for me.

It's also admittedly my worst writing for that reason; but, I'm still having fun which is the only reason I do this.

In closing, I'm honored by the people who enjoy my work. If you don't, all I can say is please read something you enjoy more. Time is a precious thing to waste and I'd rather you not waste yours on me. ~Calla

P.S. to Nina: I've only deleted one review in my entire four year fanfic writing history. It was yours. The only reason I did is because I found you unnecessarily rude. I suppose it's easy to be that way when you hide behind a Guest Review and know you'll never meet the person you're writing to.

~Calla


	11. Chapter 10

Lisbon rolled her eyes as Jane pointed at yet another ring. The man was driving her batty. To make matters worse, he wasn't listening to a word she was saying. What else was new? He hadn't listened to a word she'd said about the case on the trip over either. He'd just made noises at the appropriate time to prove he wasn't totally tuning her out. She didn't really blame him. It wasn't like she'd found that pivotal bit of evidence everyone had overlooked or broken the case wide open.

They couldn't get that lucky.

Turning her attention back to Jane, she took the ring he offered and slid it on her finger. Shaking her head, she handed it back to Liam before indicating a different ring. That Jane was a man on a mission showed in his single minded determination to get a totally inappropriate ring on her finger…That she was equally determined that wasn't happening showed in how well she headed him off at every pass…She didn't need anything flashy catching the wrong eyes and she wasn't having it.

No matter how hard Jane tried to persuade her otherwise.

"Let me see that one." Lisbon pointed to a bezel set ring before turning to Jane. "I don't want to hear it." Her look silenced his protests before he started. "You might be paying; but I'm wearing this thing."

She had a point there. Sliding the band on her finger, Lisbon studied the ring from all angles knowing Jane could see the wheels turning in her brain. Nodding, she decided it would do.

"I like this one." She said quietly before looking at the price and shaking her head. "On second thought, it won't. It's far too pricey for what it is."

Lifting the loop from the counter, Jane mimicked her earlier actions giving the diamonds a thorough once over.

"Actually, it's priced well below Market Value for what it is." Jane glanced at the tag before making his pronouncement. "While the stones are smaller than anything we've looked at, their quality is far superior to everything we've been shown. Wrap it up, Liam. We'll take it." Jane said quietly shooting Lisbon a look daring her to protest his actions. "You've got a good eye, My Dear."

"It's too expensive." Lisbon repeated. "I like that ring, too."

She pointed to a pretty ring about half the price she liked nearly as well even if it might cause her a few problems in the field.

"No, it's not." Jane nodded for their Sales Associate to continue the paperwork he'd started. "It's a steal for what you're getting and it's an investment I'm comfortable making. Nothing you were shown is out of our price range. I called ahead and Liam did the rest. All you had to do was make a selection you wanted from his offerings."

"What do you mean you called ahead?" Lisbon asked.

"Exactly what I said." Jane repeated.

"This isn't a chain retailer and we aren't from here." Lisbon observed out of nowhere. "How did you know they'd have what we wanted? You didn't have time to do an internet search or call a bunch of jewelry stores in the fifteen minutes I was getting ready."

She supposed he could have done his homework last night or while she was sleeping; but, she doubted it. He'd been curled around her fast asleep most of the night. Even if he hadn't been, she was a light sleeper. She'd have awakened when he slid out of bed no matter how carefully he extricated himself even if she would have fallen immediately back to sleep.

"No, I didn't." Jane agreed. "The owner is an acquaintance from my old life. He owns five jewelry stores including the one in Malibu." It wasn't necessary telling Lisbon he'd once patronized that shop. She was smart enough to read between the lines. "I remembered one of his stores was in San Antonio so I called Sydney, told him what I wanted, and he called Liam here. You know the rest of the story."

"Now I do." Lisbon watched the attractive thirty something carefully boxing her ring. "The selection was just too perfect for things to be as random as they seemed."

Not to mention they'd found just what they wanted in the very first store.

"It wasn't random at all." Jane caught Liam's eye. "We'll take the two gold bands we looked at earlier as well."

He was speaking of the plain yellow gold bands he and Lisbon had favored. They weren't dissimilar to the one he'd worn so long except both were slightly wider.

"We also need to look at a selection of gold chains strong enough to hold her ring without breaking." Jane continued. "Sydney suggested we might like the one behind you over there." Taking the proffered chain, Jane held it out to Lisbon. "What do you think? It's long enough to hide under most of your blouses and sturdy enough to do the job. You'll only need it for a couple of weeks anyway."

"It'll do." Lisbon nodded as she walked across the room to study a case of Estate Jewelry not all that interested in the chain beyond knowing it wouldn't break. "Like you said, I won't be wearing it that long."

"Show her whatever she wants to see in there and put anything she chooses on my tab." Jane suggested. "I'm going to look over the paperwork."

Watching Liam walking over to distract Lisbon, Jane read over the fine print and studied the GIA Report for a few minutes before signing the bottom. Although he was sure she hadn't known what she was doing, his bride-to-be had good taste in jewelry. She'd subconsciously gone for quality over size and picked the perfect ring for her needs. That she liked the simple design was a plus. Lisbon was fully capable of going for functionality over appeal even in an engagement ring.

Abandoning the completed contract, Jane meandered over to join the rest of his party in front of the display case secretly pleased Lisbon was still playing with jewelry. It was nice to know she could get as captivated by gemstones as she was with guns. He'd hand it to his old friend; there were a lot of tempting trinkets on display. Nothing as flamboyant as the emerald and diamond set Lisbon had turned down years ago. But, Syd's offerings were appealing none-the-less.

"We'll take that, too." He said quietly liking the way the Edwardian ring looked on Lisbon's hand. The center pearl, enhanced by alternating mine cut diamonds and sapphires neatly spaced in a round platinum setting, was nicely sized though not overpowering. "You can wear it on your ring finger until it's time to replace it with your wedding band."

"I can do that." It wasn't like anyone would think twice about a pearl on her engagement finger. "You know you're spoiling me."

Marcus had spoiled her as well; but, this was different and Lisbon wasn't quite sure how she felt about it.

Jane wasn't trying to impress her by buying her expensive things or taking her to expensive restaurants. He honed in on the things she really liked instead. That was more than anyone had ever done for her. While nothing they'd purchased was extravagant, certainly not as excessive as that lovely set she'd refused so many years ago, she'd looked at far costlier diamonds he'd been willing to buy.

"Let me see the provenance." Jane said quietly accepting the yellowed Bill of Sale Liam handed him along with a handful of other papers. "I'm going to spoil you some more. We'll take the matching necklace and earrings as well." He nodded to the adjoining case. "This set was commissioned in 1905 for a minor actress by someone you'd recognize so I'd say you have your something old and your something blue."

"You don't have to do this." Lisbon said ignoring Jane's comments knowing he'd tell her the rest of the story later. "The ring is enough."

"Why would you want to break up a beautiful set like that when it isn't necessary?" Jane asked. "Try the necklace on. I'm sure it'll look perfect around your neck."

Fastening the necklace, Jane gave Lisbon a gentle push towards the mirror.

"You're right." Lisbon gave in. "It's perfect for my dress. But you know that don't you?"

"I know no such thing." Jane reassured her. "I don't know anything about your dress except what you've told me. I can assure you Paulie didn't spill your secrets. She wouldn't do that. I do know the delicate lines of that necklace suit you so I think you should accept my gift."

"We'll take the necklace and the earrings, too." Lisbon agreed. "The earrings are beautiful."

She studied the studs as Liam removed them from the case deciding they were large enough to see yet still tastefully discrete. Catching Jane's indulgent smile, she decided he was reading her mind again and wanted to smack him. He knew her much too well.

Watching Liam pull an aged box from beneath the counter, Lisbon reluctantly handed over her ring. Carefully arranging the pieces in their appropriate spots, he closed the lid before ringing up the set and accepting payment. Handing the bag over to Jane, he waited hopefully to see if anything else would catch their eye. When his boss had called him earlier and advised him to overlook Mr. Jane's eccentricities in favor of cultivating a good sale and a repeat customer, he hadn't been lying on either count. While his fiancée was clearly a down-to-earth woman, that Jane was as strange as his name. But, Liam didn't mind his foibles. He was also an excellent sale and, hopefully, a repeat customer as his boss had indicated.

If that came to pass, Patrick Jane would quickly become one of his personal favorites.

"What do you say, Lisbon?" Jane asked. "Are we done here?"

"We bought more than we came for." Lisbon nodded. "So, yes, I'd say we're done."

"Then it's on to the Texas Ranger Museum." Jane smirked slightly at the thought Liam probably thought he was dragging the little woman there when nothing could be farther from the truth. Their next stop was Lisbon's pick of the day. She was the one far more fascinated by badges and guns than she was pretty rings. He was looking forward to the River Walk instead. "Maybe we'll run into a nice place to eat between here and there if you can wait that long."

"I can wait." Lisbon waved goodbye to Liam as Jane escorted her out the door.

#

Removing the yellow gold ring from the chain around her neck, Lisbon slipped it on her finger for the first time in the two weeks since it was bought. After that first night she'd stopped wearing her engagement ring quickly deciding taking it off the next morning hurt too bad. It was far easier to leave the ring on the chain around her neck until the day came when it was finally encircling her finger for good.

Fortunately, today was that day.

Staring at her finger, she decided she still liked her ring every bit as much as she had when they'd picked it out in that quaint shop in San Antonio. The shop that looked like nothing special from the outside but specialized in custom high ticket items. Nothing flashy, her trophy was a simple ring composed of three bezel set diamonds, two rounds with an oval in the center, whose value lay more in their quality than in their far from impressive size.

While a part of her appreciated Jane's desire to give her a statement piece, she'd wanted something delicate and understated she could comfortably wear in the field. A ring that wouldn't catch a criminal's eye or get snagged in a chase. Being an FBI Agent coupled with her petite size invited enough trouble without asking for more. Jane had gotten her message and finally bowed to common sense. He had, however, won the final battle as only he could.

That dainty, understated bit of clear stone and gold adorning her finger cost more than the majority of the more ostentatious rings they'd considered.

Shaking her head, Lisbon decided she might as well give up now. She was never getting one over on Jane or not very often. She hoped to goodness this kid took more after her than him or she was done for. Two Janes playing mind games was more than anyone could handle. It wouldn't matter she was a Jane by marriage. That didn't count. It wasn't the same. She lacked that inherent sneakiness permeating a certain carney's DNA.

But, being half Jane, her kid wouldn't.

Turning her attention to the garments laid out on her bed, Lisbon decided she'd worry about baby antics when the time came. Right now, she needed to get dressed. Jane would be unlocking her front door in less than a half hour to haul her away. It wouldn't be that long before she'd be signing Teresa Jane on that piece of paper. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Maybe trepidatious and excited covered all the bases.

Sliding into her panty hose, Lisbon shrugged into her slip before reaching for her dress. She'd sworn she was never wearing those stupid things again; but, somehow, the thought of passing such an important day bare legged didn't sit as well as it should. Pulling her dress over her head, she settled it over her hips before reaching behind her to fasten the zipper. Stepping into her shoes, she reached for the aged box setting on top of her dresser. Opening the lid, she unhooked the pearl pendant and lifted it against her skin deciding it looked as good with her dress as she'd thought it would. Reaching for the studs, she attached them to her ears and fluffed her hair. Stepping back, she surveyed her reflection in the mirror.

She looked pretty good considering the circumstances.

The ecru lace dress discretely dotted with a smattering of seed pearls was fancier than she usually wore. But, it wasn't over the top for her wedding day when coupled with the matching plain leather pumps that elongated her calves becomingly. Paulie's words not hers. She'd _never_ say anything elongated her calves becomingly. Snorting at her reflection, she burned the image in her mind for eternity. She wasn't looking like this ever again so she might as well remember it.

The only thing missing was some kind of hat or veil and there was no way in hell she was wearing one of those…Not even for Jane.

Taking one last look in the mirror, she stepped into the bedroom to grab her purse and matching jacket before heading for the stairs. Jane was already waiting for her downstairs. She could hear him knocking around in the den. If she didn't miss her guess, he was pacing back and forth between the kitchen and her patio still not happy she'd refused to let him stay over last night. She'd given him some lame excuse about wanting to be as traditional as possible under the circumstances. That meant she didn't want him seeing her until the last possible moment which meant right before they left her place since he was driving. He'd finally capitulated to her insanity though he clearly hadn't liked it.

He'd also probably realized the truth behind her play: she didn't want him underfoot while she prepared for the most nerve wracking, important day of her life. Lisbon thought that was closer to the truth. If it weren't, he'd have reminded her nothing about what they were doing was traditional. They'd already put the cart in front of the horse in getting pregnant. He hadn't anything of the kind. He'd given into her wishes instead. He'd known how desperately she needed that down time to collect her thoughts and prepare for the major changes in her life.

She suspected he needed the time as well. Jane hadn't been married in a very long time. What they were about to do had to bring up memories of both the pleasant and not so pleasant kind.

"Hey." Lisbon said as she stepped into the kitchen. "You're early."

"I am and you're beautiful." Jane walked over to take both of her hands in his ignoring her nerve driven small talk. "Paulie didn't steer you wrong."

He meant "Paulie" as in Paulina the good looking Amazon of a Sales Associate in the high end boutique he'd taken her to. Lisbon shook her head wondering briefly how in the world the man ended up with so many attractive women wound around his little finger and if she seriously wanted to put up with that particular talent for the rest of her life. Fortunately, he'd proven his disinterest in any of them beyond the particular function they served over and over again.

Mercifully, none of those functions had been remotely intimate if she discounted Lorelei including Paulie.

It wouldn't have mattered if Jane had felt differently. Paulina had proven far more interested in earning her commission than she was in the man paying her. Once Jane said she was to have whatever she wanted, they'd taken him at his word and Paulie had swung into action with far more gusto than she'd have expected from such a self possessed woman. She'd actually had a blast trying on things she'd never have considered if the other woman hadn't brought them to her. She'd been shock that quite a few of those things had suited her perfectly.

"No, she didn't." Lisbon agreed smirking evilly at him. "Trust me, she enjoyed every second of that steering and we put a healthy dent in your credit card."

"It wasn't as bad as I expected." Jane smirked back. "In fact, the bill is already taken care of and those last few outfits you put back are hanging in the back of your closet."

It was apparent Lisbon had yet to see them.

"You shouldn't have done that." Lisbon protested. "I won't be able to wear any of that for much longer."

The very practical reason why she'd discarded them.

"Sure you will. If you can't, don't worry about it." Jane said. "You'll be able to wear them later. I seriously doubt it will take that long to get back to your pre-baby weight once all of this is over."

"You think so?" Lisbon wasn't sure considering all the horror stories she'd heard over the years. "I'm not so sure you're right about that. From what I've heard, having a baby changes your body."

"For a lot of women it does and I'm sure it'll change yours some." Jane agreed. "However, I doubt you'll change that much. Your hips may get marginally wider and your breasts fuller for a while; but, I'd say that's about it. You'll still be able to wear those outfits if that happens."

"We'll see." Lisbon gave in deciding it was Jane's money to blow. "Knowing I have to go back into the field right after maternity leave is enough to keep me on a tight rein."

They both knew the part about going right back in the field wasn't true; but, if that's what Lisbon wanted to believe he wouldn't try to dissuade her. She could take additional unpaid time to bond with their child if she wanted. He wouldn't try to stop her. In fact, he'd probably prefer she did it that way. However, they both knew she wouldn't. Lisbon would eventually be champing at the bit to get back in the field and when that time came, she'd be ready. There was no way she'd fail her physical fitness test the first go round. She'd probably outdo the guys if he knew her. There was nothing the woman liked more than a challenge.

He doubted she be with him if she didn't.

"Then there isn't a problem." Jane's tone said there never had been. "One day you'll figure out you can spend what you please within reason."

"One day you'll accept I have my own money." Lisbon said quietly suddenly realizing she had no idea what kind of funds Jane had squirreled away.

All she'd ever really known was when he needed large sums of money he'd always found a way of getting it. Most having nothing to do with delving into the reserves she'd always suspected he had. She'd ask him about all of that one day soon after they were married.

When she felt she had the right.

"One day you'll accept we're in this together." Jane said quietly. "What's mine is yours."

"I have no idea what that means." Lisbon told him honestly. "What I do know is we're splitting the bills so don't go macho on me."

"I expect nothing less." Jane said quietly knowing she was too independent to accept anything different. "However, you should know we're comfortably set if neither of us ever earns another dime."

"Okay." Lisbon absorbed his words. "But that doesn't really change anything does it?"

"No, it doesn't." Jane agreed. "I'm still moving in here and we're selling the RV. Neither of us is leaving the FBI. Nothing is really changing after today except you'll be Mrs. Patrick Jane and our family is expanding."

"That works for me." Lisbon said glancing at the clock on her stove. "We need to get a move on or we're going to be late."

"We don't have an appointment so we can't be late." Jane gently reminded her. "We have to make it before the deadline is all."

It had taken them almost two weeks from their outing in San Antonio to find a day they could safely cut out without anyone asking unnecessary questions. Today was that day. Jane had left first since everyone was used to him disappearing for a few hours when they weren't working an active case. Lisbon had left an hour later pleading personal business. That wasn't unusual either. They all did it every once in a while. The only difference was this time neither she nor Jane were coming back.

Tomorrow morning would be soon enough to deal with the fallout caused by their sudden disappearing act.

"We still have plenty of time." Lisbon watched Jane walk over to her refrigerator to open the door. "What's that?"

"What does it look like?" Jane asked handing her the mass of white Gardenias elegantly wrapped in an ecru silk ribbon adorned with a hint of seed pearls. "Every bride should have a bouquet."

Lisbon wasn't going to ask how he'd pulled off having a custom made bouquet on hand when neither of them had known what day they were getting married. Knowing him, he'd probably charmed some vulnerable florist into dropping everything for however long it took to create the simple perfection she was holding in her hands. She hoped he'd paid her well for her time and trouble.

"It's beautiful." Lisbon rose up to give him a kiss. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jane watched her lift the bouquet to her nose knowing Lisbon was clueless to its meaning.

However, he knew what he was saying and that was enough.

She'd been his secret love long enough.

#

"Are you alright?" Jane reached over to entwine his finger through hers ignoring the look Lisbon shot him. "I don't need both hands to pull into a parking space."

"I don't guess you do." Lisbon said. "I'm fine."

"You should be more than fine." Jane said quietly as he put the car in park and killed the engine. "Everything went off without a hitch."

Lisbon had to agree. For a Court House ceremony, she didn't have any complaints. Jane had found a quaint little town about forty miles from Austin where they could do the deed in a scenic atmosphere. The Officiant had been a warm woman she'd liked immediately. She gotten to wear a pretty ivory sheath that clung becomingly to her still slender frame while Jane had worn a very ordinary suit in his current style. He'd cleaned up nicely as she'd known he would. They'd waited their turn, repeated their vows, slid simple gold bands in place, and signed the appropriate papers before they were done. They'd even had a few photographs taken. While seemingly nothing special, Lisbon didn't think she'd ever experienced anything more beautiful and she was sure Jane felt the same. He'd said as much as they'd slid into their car.

Now they'd come home where the simple dinner they'd planned days ago was waiting for them. She'd held off on eating any fish all week because they were having some kind of elegant seafood salad as well as sparkling juice and slices of that wedding cake Jane had insisted on buying. Knowing her husband there was probably more; but, she wasn't sure.

"Yes it did and the ceremony was beautiful." Lisbon repeated. "This just feels strange."

"But it isn't." Jane gently reminded her. "Nothing's changed all that much. We'll drive into work in the morning like we do every morning. We'll start our day as we always do. I'll make you a cup of decaff and myself a cup of tea. We'll bitch and bicker as we always do. The rest of the pieces will fall into place, It'll take everyone however long it takes them to connect the dots as to why we're wearing matching rings on our fingers and we'll deal with the fall out when they do. We'll go home at the end of the day. It's as simple as that."

"Are you really as calm as you seem?" Lisbon asked. "I don't see how you can be."

"Yes, I think I am." Jane said. "Why shouldn't I be? I have what I wanted and I think you do too."

"What are you talking about now?" Lisbon asked. "You're always confusing me."

"The ring on your finger." Jane responded. "We're Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Jane. That's all that really matters. You and me. We're legally married and there's nothing anyone can do about it. In a few months we'll have our son. As strange as it sounds, there's nothing left to do but live. It doesn't get better than that. Not for us. Not after the last few years we've had."

"I like the way that sounds." Lisbon agreed. "But, that doesn't mean I'm as comfortable with everything as you are."

"Let me handle tomorrow." Jane said. "It isn't anything you need to worry about."

"Everyone's reaction to us sneaking off and getting married is nothing I need to worry about?" Lisbon snorted. "I think we should both be concerned with the fallout."

"Why?" Jane asked. "It's no different than if you'd married Pike."

Which, thank goodness, she hadn't done.

"Of course it's different." Lisbon corrected him. "We work in the same unit and I'm pregnant."

"While that may be true, we aren't both Agents." Jane reminded her. "I'm a Consultant in case you've forgotten. If worst comes to worse, I'll transfer to a different unit. As for you being pregnant, that happens every day at the FBI."

Just not her being pregnant by him.

"Abbott won't like you transferring." Lisbon stated unnecessarily. "He views you as his personal property."

"Yeah, well, I'm counting on Dennis to step in if we have any problems." Jane smirked knowingly. "He won't give me up without a fight and he has enough clout I think he'll win."

Abbott's trump card was that encrypted disc.

His trump card was he'd cracked that encryption over the past few weeks even if he was the only one who knew it.

"I don't believe you." Lisbon said. "You're absolutely shameless. You don't care about the trouble you cause do you?"

"No, I don't." Jane agreed. "Not when it comes to getting what I want and I've wanted you for a long time."

"The feeling's mutual." Lisbon gave him a kiss.

"Then we have nothing to worry about." Jane kissed her back. "I've got everything under control."

Lisbon snorted at the thought, "Yeah, right, in typical Jane fashion."

She might as well get ready for that roller coaster ride before it started.

Nothing was going to turn out as they'd planned.

She was sure of it.

But, everything would be all right.

She was sure of that, too.


End file.
